All thanks be to God who has helped us this far from the beginning of the year till date. Eleven months don waka we still dey carry go, even though some have said goodbye to the Ville, we know they are alive and well off the ville. It's enough to thank God for.
Before the year runs to an end, I need closure on some posts....
Sandra eventually died or better still I put her down when the time for annual check came, I just could not be bothered with the bill. I am now on the lookout for a replacement like yesterday. As it is I would not be able to splash out like I expected because well it's not yet harvest time for the money tree behind my house. More so, I don't know if anyone ever told you but my oh my "Photography is expensive". Please don't let me recount the loss of 430EX flash that dipped £200 in my pocket....issshhk it still hurts. Suffice to say, Sandra's replacement will be modest.
Dentists and Needles
I have had a start stop relationship with my dentist, so started treatment but yours truly have missed so many appointments because of the numerous travelling I have been doing this year, I have clocked up some tidy frequent flier points yeeaaaaaaaahh. Nevertheless I must now rekindle the relationship and sort this teeth out once and for all.
Sex, Kids and lies
On that issue of sex, kids and lies, the more I seriously think about it, the more I empathise with my mum's sex education delivery to young thirty+ "Now that you have started to see aunt flo, don't get close to boys or else you'll get pregnant". It was enough to scare me off being a visual person that I am, anytime a guy as much spoke to me all I kept seeing was my tiny frame falling down due to the weight of pregnancy (quite naive).
That kind of education won't work on these Internet age kid. Aside from telling him or her to be careful and preserve their body I really would not know what to say. My conclusion is that I will cross the bridge when I get to it or better still may I never get to that bridge as in my kids will all be straight up about their books and manners till they are matured enough (so help me God).
Till later, Happy New Month
Then sings my soul, how great thou art, how great thou art, enough said.
You probably guessed from my last note what I have been up to.
God does answer prayers even when it's quarter to no hope, he shows up by sending help. On that note a big shout out to Shonavixen for the hook up with D, D was just absolutely fab.
I just have to vent a bit about Schipol Airport (Amsterdam).
Schipol Airport doesn't come across as being friendly. Maybe it's my imagination but once is a chance, twice a coincidence, three is like hmnn
1) I have passed through Schipol Airport quite a number of times this year and honestly everytime I arrive there, I am welcomed by "Will passenger van deer gutang for destination Kuala Lumpur please get on the plane otherwise their luggage will be taken off the plane". It leaves me wondering why folks are always late at this particular Airport
2) I don't like the idea of a Toilet flushing itself especially when it's a dumb toilet. I fess up first time I went by and the white house released itself I jumped a bit. Especially as I hadn't a chance to even hang my bag talk less of..... And of course you wait after you finish to make sure it does flush itself after da bizness. I demand the right and liberty to administer the flushing judgement.
3) The People / Staff - Witness this dude who was being denied taking his Jack Daniels on board despite the fact it was bought from Duty Free, their excuse it was NOT sealed. You need to see the way they were going on at the man like he had just been found with cocaine. Maybe because he was Nigerian but come on...... . Common sense should have prevailed instead of the gang up on the guy. Eventually someone with a bit of sanity came and offered to check the bottle in.
And you don't want to see the way they eye your passport whether green, red or black. Me, if you eyeball my pali, I will eyeball you and your uniform number (if any) in a matter of don't try me else...... (you must at least have shakara).
One more thing, their "just before you board security check" one one side of the Airport wing is downright annoying. Why can't they just be like other folks and have the general gate security check instead of having it at every boarding gate. Wasteful and Oversabi.
What else is new?
I'm editing pictures like there's no tomorrow, got a backlog to clear.
Which brings me to this, what has your hands found to do lately?
What are you waiting for?
God will reward your effort.
One of my life's principle can be found Right Here
P.S - I'm taking wedding photography bookings for 2010, if you know anyone getting married do inform them.
Baba God, the one who wraps himself in Lighty, the first, the last, the present, the future....I Hail Your Name.
Been a minute. It's good to have a blog where one can share thoughts and happenings in our daily lives without interruption. I will recommend blogging to everyone even if you are not a writer, it's a good place to ponder type your thoughts. For the gift of blog, blogville and bloggers in general I thank you Lord.
The good book says that it is better to go to the house of the mourning than go to the house of feasting. I have been to the house of mourning and tomorrow I am going to the house of rejoicing, with my current closest companion, my camera.
Let me say this straight up, it's much better and preferable to be a photographer at a wedding than at a funeral. Did not even consider that I could be asked to take pictures for a funeral. After the initial panic of being called to come and take picture of the body to which I had rehearsed a declining speech, I charged my batteries, cleaned my lens took my back pack and off I went. Thankfully the casket was closed, phew ope factorial.
The house of mourning certainly gives you some food for thought on this so called life. The greatest lesson for me was this it is better to die with a knowledge of the one who made you. Because when the dust has returned to dust and funeral procession goes to their various home, when the last tear has been shed and the black clothes exchanged for your office wear, the spirit of the one who passed on is left to face it's owner.
And the wedding, oh the joy of starting a new phase of life together with the one who makes your world go round. The love in the eyes of a newly wedded couple is joy to behold. No wonder it's easy to snap 1000 shots, have aching hands but you still have a smile. Of course you come back home to edit and tell yourself for the upteenth time to go easy with the shots.
Just like I am telling myself now that tomorrow, I shall keep calm and not capture bums unnecessarily. I mean just because I find folks dancing bumper to bumper hilarious does not mean I should get wild with the camera now. Although some of those shots are so candid and makes the couple smile.
I know I have not been responding to comment but not wanting to sound like a broken record, I'll say (hopefully for the last time) 'time has not permitted me'. Don't give up on me just yet.
Naija chickito has returned after one and half years in exile, we must celebrate.
God is REAL, I can't say it enough and what's more HE IS ALL THAT! No wonder I can't help but Juba* (*hail/worship/bow) for him.
I was going to try and write a follow up on the last post, most especially as quite a few folks confessed they did not know what they would have said, but like Arnold said "I'll be back" on that topic.
For now I watched this skit below and rushed to this page to share with you, enjoy.
If only we can see ourselves the way God sees us, I am a Christian and yet I know that I don't see myself the way he sees me. Too much interference with God's signal.
Interference come in many forms it could be: what we see in the media being advertised as the standard, what the culture sets as Norm, what Fiends say, what some friends say, what the parents say, what the past echoes, what the future whispers and most of all what the flesh says (you can drop more in the comments box)
....In the begining it was not so. Folks take time to check out what God is saying about you now
Hope you are feeling fine! "Oluwa ni Olugbala aya ta ni o fo mi" ("The Lord is my deliverer whom shall I fear")...Halleluyah plenty!
I read LG's post on Let's talk about sex which she wrote way back and it reminded me about my friend and his 10 year old son.
The boy came and asked her about what to buy for a girl he loved (or something like that). My friend was shocked! Not that she is ignorant that this is normal in the UK but for some reason she deluded herself that "Femi" was different.
Kudos to her they are very close, he is the only child they have and is practically tied to momma's string by choice.
She discovered that the boy had been texting the girl with all his credit and really liked the girl.
What was her response to all these I asked?
Friend: "Well I told him that he needs to be careful especially when he was not yet sure if the girl is God's will for him in marriage."
Thirty+: "What?! please don't tell me you actually said that?"
Friend: "Wo o ba mi lojiji (I was caught unawares) and that was the first sensible thing I could say".
Marriage, Will of God?! Ogini mere?! I laughed till I nearly peed in my pant, how could she have said that to a 10year old boy. And she did not help matters, telling me in her most serious tone that it was not a laughin matter, of course I laughed the more.Eh ya bless her heart. I don't think anyone prepared her for parenting like that as in my home girl was brought up in our own era with strict christian background. Did not have a boyfriend (her husband was her first), is not exposed in any way. At least some of us read blogs and our eye open small.
So she asked me "What would you have said?!."
I seriously thought about it for a moment and was not sure what I would have said either. As in free me abeg, it's not me who has a 10year old son in love, when I get to that bridge I'll cross it. She pointed out my hypocrisy as in at least she said something even though it may not be the most sensible or appropriate thing to have said but she had no prior warning
Now that I have had time to think about it, maybe I would say something like "What do you mean when you say you love her"? "Why do you think you love her"? (Stalling, I know). Then I would advice him that girls are to be treated nicely and with respect, treat her like your sister and a good friend or something along those lines.
What if he turns and says "but I really love her"?
I could do either of the following
- Suggest to cook his favourite meal and then put on a three hour film that we should watch together like the 'English Patient'. Hopefully by that time he would have forgotten or his Dad would have arrived for hand over.
- Alternatively I may consider buying him Tina Turner's Album "What's Love got to do with it"
- Say something like this "It's good that you are in Love as long as your 'Pee Pee' does not go near her 'Vee Vee'. (P.S At what age can a girl get pregnant?)
- Tell him about the story of Sodom and Gomorrah.
It is good to sing praise to the Lord and bless the Lord most high.
Happy New Month to you all, the first half of the year will soon be gone.
Recently one of my friends (call him J boy) let me down, basically I wanted us to partner in some bizness and kind of wanted to him to tidy the sales side of things while I sourced product. The guy was all mouth 'yeah no worries, I will do the groundwork, I have told you before business is the in thing.....bla, blah, black sheep'.
When time came for him to deliver, no show.
This was the same guy who used to call me all the way from the US to advise me on marriage and I use to even what his scope was. I remember a conversation we had shortly after he relocated to Nigeria (on this same marriage issue).
J boy: '30+ you should make sure you shine your eyes well o and be very prayerful before choosing a partner, you divorce rate is high this days. I just heard a sermon and the guy was saying some serious stuff'.
30+: 'Don't worry, I am always praying about it anyway you nko how far?'
J boy: 'It's you I am waiting for (laughs), God will do it'
He then made an excuse to get of the phone (credit or somethin like that)
A couple of months after that conversation, one of our common friends called to rejoice with me and confirm when J Boy's naming ceremony will be.
30+:'Which J boy'?
Friend: 'Same J boy now, don't you know he has a baby girl?'
30+: 'Shuo since when, is he married?'
Friend: 'You mean he did not tell you that he is now married to little K girl'
30+: 'Little K girl ke, are you dreaming, K girl who has barely finished WAEC or which K girl are you talking about?'
Friend: 'Ah okay you have not heard. The long and short of the story is there has been some underg rendevous between the two for a while and result became VISIBLE. Parents sha insisted he must marry her before she gives birth'.
I called another friend who filled me in on the details. Kai, imagine, this is the same dude that was always was advising as if he was my father yet he managed to miss out that he had impregnated our K little girl who was donkey years her junior. Let's just say K girl is one of those area aburos whom we all use to send on errand when we hang out in their hood. K girl that use to call him and his friends Uncle and Aunty, K girl who was still in secondary school.
His excuse for not telling me earlier ("after he apologised") He wanted it to be a "SURPRISE" (yeye guy, na today dem born me?!).
Why are people such hypocrites there he was advising me and next thing you know all the while he was wiring little K girl.
Anyways on this fateful day I called their house (i.e. Mr and Mrs J boy) as per business concern and it was litte K girl that picked phone, of course level don change, it was no longer 'Aunty 30+', it was now '30+ what's up? 'I just calmly respnded I am fine, abi afterall she is now my friend's wife . I asked after her husband and she said to hold on... The next thing I heard shocked me, 'Stuppiiiiiiiiiid', 'Stuppiiiiiiiiiid', (shuo who is she fighting with) and then again 'Opponuuu' you have a phone call.
Chai I prayed please don't let it be what I am thinking and as if he read my tots, I heard my friend's voice in the background replying her "Whhhhatt mo nbo jo" (I am coming).
Olopa o, what happend to sweetheart, darling, baby, honey all dem dem romantic names abi is this new fashion in Nigeria?!.
In short J boy a.k.a stupid/oponu eventually picked phone and I had my conversation with him like normal although he sounded uneasy
(What?! You expect me to ask him who oponu is? No o, wetin konsign me, you want them to use my name enter their sheneidegan, God forbid!).
Even if they were fighting she should not have embarrassed the guy like dat. Then again it is not her fault it's my friend who could not take his eyes of her melons nor take to his own advise, the girl was obviously immature.
The next time I called and she picked up, it was different, it was now 'Mrr Foolissshhh' you have a phone call" (not a joke). Well things are getting better abi at least he now has a prefix.
There and then I decided not to call their house again, I'll rather email or send letter, can't stomach any more name calling although J boy messed up but still...
Moral of the gist, walk the talk, you are an Epistle.
There is a time for everything, a time to sow and a time to pray, a time to laugh a time to cry, a time to sleep and a time to wake. As for praising God it is for all time, all day and all night his praise should be on our lips...I praise you Lord
Right now is the time for me to reflect and reminisce.
I miss the early days of blogging, when I constantly checked my blog for comments and spend hours blog hopping. I miss reading Fineboy's post. I miss reading from Doctor Naaps, Bimby's series, Mrs Somebody, Carlang, Undacova, Calabar girl, Anu Boy and a few others.
Don't get me wrong, there are still yet more bloggers who are in the block, just that I miss a few of the ones who have left.
Sometime I wonder if I should draw the curtains on this blog but can't bring myself to do it just now.
I miss my Husband and kids, the ones I don't have yet.
I miss my Dad....sigh. He is very much alive hale and hearty in Naija just that I am missing him right now. Don't know why seeing that we are not necessary the best of buddies. Maybe I should plan to visit home soon.
I miss gbegiri and ewedu, it's been a while I had it.
Yihaa, my photography is doing very well and thank you all for your support and encouragement both here on blogsville and facebook. I have been getting quite a number of enquiries and custom. I will be covering another wedding very soon, hopefully will come back here with plenty gist.
Till later, take care of yourselves.
If you or someone you know is getting married soon, give me a shout, we (in conjunction with my partner who is a make up artist) have got some good package on offer .
Unquestionable he is the Lord, he created us but himself was not created.
Seeing that I don't plan to repent on blogging faithfully anytime soon, I may compromise and start talking photography here. That will prolly give me the impetus to come by here more often.
Imagine my 2nd year blogging anniversary passed without so much as mention. Whereas last year I put up this longified post celebrate. Time changes things.
Sales and sweltering sun what a summer combo.
I am not a typical girl when it comes shopping. Don't really like shopping that much, I usually start off with a high but within an hour I am like can I go home already. Another issue for me is I have a one track mind when it comes to shop. For many years I was a card carrying member of NEXT just 'cos I went in one summer sales period and got good bargains and clothes that fit. Ever since then, anytime I am going shopping like a robot it's NEXT. Often times I see other people wear clothes and wonder why I did not see them in the shop i.e. NEXT.
My sister gets lovely tops from H & M, you will think I should do the maths and go in there to ge myself some, till date 30+ has never stepped into H & M by herself to buy anything yet I envy the tops when she wears them.
Then my favourite store became Dorothy Perkins and I had a brief sting with Wallis.
Ok why all these stories.
Currently I have no shop in the UK. Got tired of NEXT after one particular sales period that left me looking like iyalode of Balogun market as I practically struggled a pair of shoe with one woman. Took one look around the store saw the craziness of it all, dropped my picks and headed for the door. No store is what that hassle 70% sales or not and anyway all the good stuff had gone. Dorothy Perkins after going in twice and not finding anything I dropped them like hot potato.
In the past two years or so I have been doing my shopping whenever I travelled. But as I am not travelling this summer and my weight is doing a yoyo on the scales, I realised I needed interim solution until my body weight made up it's mind or I decide to stop taking a Kit Kat every break (whichever came first).
Last week, I sat scratching my head on where to shop.
For above reasons, I don't shop there plus back in time, I made the mistake of going there at Christmas time with a friend who came in Nigeria. Unfortunately it was the one located on Peckham High Street, we are talking 5 years ago before the re branding attempt of Peckham. So my bus stopped in front of Primark last week and as I saw folks coming out with brown bags and looking rather satisfied, I decided to venture in. I keep forgetting how ridiculously cheap that place can be. I got not one, not two but three tops for under 30 quid.
What's more, the shop here is not nearly half as crowded as the ones in the Queen's City.
Ok their clothes may not be all that of a good quality but who cares, all I want is an interim UK shop until I set off on another voyage.
My shopaholic friend tells me there is an outlet in Swindon sumfink like that so failing my travelling I may go check the place out.
In the meantime I need to make peace with my body and some information about Child labour being used to sew Primark's clothes.
He can do it again and even much more, than what you think. Why? Because he is the same yesterday, today and forever, for that alone, I must to Kira fun baba God who is the unchaning changer.
So just like that MJ beat it from planet earth well as a wise seer under inspiration wrote :
"Remember your Creator now while you are young, before the silver cord of life snaps and the golden bowl is broken. Don’t wait until the water jar is smashed at the spring and the pulley is broken at the well. For then the dust will return to the earth, and the spirit will return to God who gave it."
Let's leave that one aside for the main post
Lately in my head, I have been preaching a lot. As in proper preaching especially when I have just discovered something in the bible. I tell you now God's word is new everyday.
When I was much younger, I use to wonder what will happen after I finish reading the bible, well I thought you just read it through and get the gist but panicked about what will happen next. Until I discovered that his word is fresh and dynamic, a scripture verse can speak differently to one million people....How great!
Yesterday I had to used my hand to cover mouth because I realised I was actually speaking out loud to an invisible audience explaining what I just read in Phillipians 3. *Kilode now I cautioned myself **"ara ile lo ma mo ni amodi, were lara ita ma pe".
Ma peeps the thing baffled/baffles me and it's not the first or second time that this will happen to me.
No I don't believe I have the calling of a pulpit ministy, though a few folks do say that I have but no no no, abeg I prefer the sidelines.
Believe it or not, I now have yet another fb profile...aargh. It's a long story but was def not the plan. The profile was set up just to load pix but eh karamba no sooner than I loaded pix than the friend requests started coming . After about 6 requests came immediately some of who where already my friends, I thought why not and started adding more myself...crazy abi lol.
Love you plenty.
Also glad to see Obiwanne and Tolantino back to blogville.
**"to the one who knows better it can be called enthusiasm, to the outsider it will be called madness".
God loves me, I don't know why? It is not a wonder that I choose to praise him in all I do, he is my all in all.
How are you all doing?
My friend was gisting me of another friend who said she joined a dating website. I know folks do that a lot this dayz but my oh my I am old skuul plus there are so many Aliens in the world today and cyber connection adds another dimension.
Peeps mi just check the SUCCESS stories on this website (the first one) and tell me honestly what was going through your head CLICK HERE, isshkk is what came out of ma own mouth, I no fit talk. (17/06/09: Update, 'the link to the ones I am referring to seems to have been moved, copied the link a while back so :(
Love what a booriful thing.
Talking of which my friend the garrulous one celebrated her birthday recently so was on the phone asking how it went blah blah. She tells me of how Mr So and so did not show up cos he took his family on holiday and how he had a go at her wondering what is there to celebrate when all her mates are doing birthdays for their fourth born.
Oucch! Tafa o! Ok I know my friend is a lil bit loud and razz, actually so razz that I have reduce communications with her cos she been rubbing razzzness on me. What can she do, should she marry herself.
Unto other gist
I went for the Premiere of a movie called "The Unsaid".
Now, I thought Nollywood was getting better but this movie left me speechless, and to think I walked red carpet to enter Cinema and watched this film which I paid £10 i.e. N2,800 for. Up till the last minute I was sure there was going to be a spin to salvage the mediocrity of the production, story line and acting. Alas it was not to be. I was left speechless and the only thing I could mutter was "It's a lie! It's a lie!! It's a lie!!!
I just could not believe anyone Nigerian will have the audacity to "Premiere" a movie like that and collect money. It should have been premiered on You Tube or the living room of No 10 Kingsland road, Hackney (apologies if this your address, but hackney did get a mention in the movie).
Ireti Ola Daniels was diagnosed of cancer while abroad, rather than come home and die in the midst of family and loved ones like most normal human beings decides to return and stay in Lagos, splashing 100billion naira on house and three cars living a recluse. She met a prostitute (Bimbo Akintola) they both got drunk and were helped by Doctore X (Desmond Elliot). She later hires Bimbo as her Personal Assistant and Desmond (who was having issues with his girlfriend) fell in love with her (totally out of the blues) and then she dies.
In fact writing the above synopsis is enough to give me a headache, there was no begining, no middle but there was an end sha.
Kudos to Bimbo Akintola and Desmond but even their effort could not salvage the movie.
My verdict - 3/10.
Peeps mi, thanks for all the birthday wishes, really appreciate all the love.
My birthday was great, I enjoyed the outing although despite my earlier declaration to enjoy myself so much that I forget about having a blog, I found myself talking about blogging during the dinner outing.
I wrote a full post in my head but now that I am here all I can think of is why my sleeping habit is messed up (sleeping at odd hours) and I ain't preggers nor do I drink coke.
If one nose seems permanently blocked like mine, does it mean I am surviving on 50% oxygen? That must account for my feeling drowsy but not sleeping, the pollens need to disappear already.
When a man starts giving different excuse for missing appointments or picking your calls, ladies usually start suspect unfaithfulness and quite rightly so. I can give you more than a few excuses for not replying comments but the truth is I am being unfaithful to my blog.
Facebook and Photography are the real culprit behind my unfaithfulness and what's more I don't see myself repenting anytime soon.
Photography: What can I say, I am totally in love. There is so much to learn both pre and post production, it's not just carrying a good camera and pressing the button. The learning never stops, from composition, lighting, ISO, aperture, focal range and tin and tin, e no easy.
Facebook: Well I keep discovering some old folks from eon years ago. Recently reconnected with some of my mates from secondary school. Furthermore, endless gist is flowing especially with that gbeborun feature that broadcasts your story to all your friends "Thirty + has sneezed", "Thirty + is at work" e.t.c. Well I have a few friends who put details of their every move as status update and in as much as it's silly I find myself checking them out.
Though I set up a twitter account but have now resolved not to bother getting into that otherwise, I might as well leave the real world, virtualise myself and change my name to Andromethirty+.
Check this out http://aseda.shutterchance.com/
In all things I give God thanks and thanksgiving, at all times in everyway I give God thanks.
Hope you folks in the Temperate areas of UK and USA are gearing for 'proper summer' (that does not sound grammatically correct, does it?)
I agree that men do get depressed but not as much as women!
I love the Month of May, it heralds in the sunshine, end of winter blues, bikinis, diets, and the onset of parties upon parties especially weddings(at least in the UK). Don't think my peeps back in Nigeria have anything like the wedding or party season, it is lways ojo gbogbo bi odun (everyday is like celebration).
Another reason I love the month of May is because it's by Birthmonth "he he he ehe eh". As conceited as it sounds, I have this believe that May is the most special month of all followed by December and January - Lol.
Just think of it is the only one that has three letters, it is close to half year but not half year. Brides love to get married in May and most importantly, all May babies are the best...do I hear whoop whoop.
The countdown to my birthday has begun, I think I'm even more excited than usual. When I told my friend she wondered why, afterall the clock is ticking. She is also a May baby, but while she is thankful and all, she can not get the gist of my excitement.
Even I dunno why, try as I may to have a one lady pity party, I could not, there is nothing as frustrating as not being able to be depressed when you want to be depressed. I know I sound silly but sometimes I go into fits of feeling sorry for myself and for my life, but these days it's getting more and more difficult.
Just the other day I heard some news and it dampened my spirit and as I was about to go into self pity mode all I could do was speak God's word out loud.
Even though that was not what I wanted, I wanted to work myself up so I can cry and kind of make God feel sorry for me. I am laughing hard here because writing it down, I sound like such a silly thing to be aiming for.
I believe I have matured to a level and most importantly, now I know the truth it has set me free.
I know enough of God's word to understand that he works in seasons and I am tatooed in his palms, so in the words of Tuface "what more can I say".
Will not necessary put a post on for my birthday, there will be too much grooving for me to remember I have a blog, lol.
As for presents, this is my request just say "thank you father for thirty plus". Honestly though that is really what I want from my heart of hearts, I think it is so cool for God to be hearing echoes of thanksgiving from different continents on my behalf.
Just so it does not look like I am being overly spiritual, I would like a HUGE birthday cake, not Gateau, not thoe funny ones from Marks and Spencer or Cosco. A proper traditional Nigerian cake with minimal icing, Lilac in colour.
For delivery details just inbox me on fb.
Hello my Peeps,
Male and Female he created them, the master designer who designed me to be female with a purpose, I acknoledge you Baba.
Got one of these in my box decided to share. I wonder who sits down to compose all these popular email forwards?
Men Are Just Happier People?
- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- You can never be pregnant.
- You can wear a white T-shirt NO shirt to a water park.
- You can to wear a water park.
- People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth. You know stuff about tanks.
- The world is your urinal. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
- You never have to drive to another gas station rest room because this one is just too icky.
- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
- Same work, more pay - How True
- Wrinkles add character.
- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
- One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat - except when you are a brother to Thirty +, my brother can yarn.
- A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase - Once the same brother mentioned above was ready to travel to the states with just a back pack and he was not going rock climbing o.
- You can open all your own jars.
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
- Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
- You almost never have strap problems in public.
- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
- Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
- You can play with toys all your life.
- One wallet and one color for all seasons.
- You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
- You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
- You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
So is it too true that men don't get depressed?Till later
When you thank God, his grace and blessings is multiplied on your little resources, so let's consciously thank God for all He has done for us. Thank you Lord!
Happy New Month to you all, this is a special month, my month of Reward....eh karamba I am so excited.
Reading Bumight's post on sometimes I get confused, it prompted me to post this.
There is a blogger whose blog heading includes / included "me sef I tire". The 'me sef I tire' subtitle refers to his feeling at being yet another Naija blogger.
"WE ARE MANY", just when you think you preety much know everybody, you stumble on yet another fab blog.
Moreso each blogger is unique in their own way, even though you may confuse mizchif with miz-cynic, everyone is unique in their own way.
When I changed my blog template, I decided to achieve a mean feat of putting as many bloggers on my reading post widget just to keep tab. I kept adding and adding, after like over 110 bloggers and counting I gave up counting.
How to does one manage to keep tabs on all the blog and comments, phew e be like say "me sef I tire".
Image copyright - Google Images
Oh that men will praise the Lord.
Just a quick one
Courage: "The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery"
Tthere are some stories that just demonstrate what courage is, one of such is the story of Kayleigh. I also admire the CF Husband
Lord for these ones I pray for the healing balm to pour from your throne.
And I pray for them and all the readers of this blog (including myself) that we shall continue to "be strong and courageous, not afraid or terrified because of anything or anyone, for you our LORD your God goes with us; you will never leave us nor forsake us".
Image copyright: Peacefulone
How you dey yonder, thanking the Great Provider who provides all that we need if not for God where would I be.
I am sitting here balanced with some Boli and Epa the only missing ingredient is a bottle Fanta, Like my mother will say "Fanta ti o se ewon" (i.e. Fanta that has been imprisoned inside freezer).
With my balanced diet on one side and a Nollywood flick on the laptop, I could not help but re visit my post of way back about which is better Waiting for a child or life partner?.
I mean at least when you are single the people on your case are limited to your family, friends and a few gbeboruns. When it comes to waiting for a child the equation is raised to the power of TWO. See the clip below from 5.15.....
Imagine having a mother inlaw come into your house to display that kind of mentalo.
I wanted to dismiss it that it is just a film but read the comments below the clip and realised that something like that has actually happened in real life.
I remember one woman that was giving me gist of some of the things she went through while waiting for a child. On one occassion the mother in law was actually peeping on her while she was having her bath trying to see her naked to see early signs of pregnancy which kind errrant nonsense be dat.
Women are just special people, when I think of all they go through it makes me shudder how they still manage to keep a smile on their face.
While we are still on the shoe wearing thing, what is the best answer that I can give to the next person that asks me why I am Still not married?
I have overused or let's say the following no longer has effect
- I am still in school - That one went out the window xx years ago.
- I have not met the right one - Counter argument: there is no right one
- I have not met a sensible one - Counter argument: Most men only get sensible when they are married..........(schwepps as in somehow I will import sense into him).
- And I definitely can not say am not ready - The next suggestion is I have a problem.
Did I tell you about my experience on the last trip to Naija. Picture this I decided to say hello to an elderly neighbour of mine as we were driving past her house and she decided to ask my marital status across the balcony of her house to the hearing of passers by...just picture it.
I caused it now, deciding to be nice and stopping to greet her. And I only stopped 'cos I remember she has owl eyes and may have see me but pretend only to report to mumsie later. Not that I care abi mama thirty + can not dare to carry cane for me ke 'Tufiakwa'.
It was a combination of just greet her so she does not include you in her list of offenders, plus it's been a while since I saw her so wanted to say hi and ask about her daughter who was an acquintance.
Well before she finished the '5 mins over the balcony conversation' she had with me, I managed to gather that her daughter is married with 2.4 kids, the said daughter will never come to England 'cos she can not stand the place as people over there don't make real progress, and the said daughter is working in Lagos earning x million naira.
Yes o she told me her daughter's 'salary' and NO I did not ask for the information only ask if "Mary Clarence" (her daughter) was okay.
By the way her daugter's 'HUGE SALARY' as she calls it the total sum of ............................ Threes Millions Nairas and zero kobo per annum.
I am sure when the said daughter starts taking home ten million naira she will start a blog to tell the whole world how her daughter came to earn that much.
Moral of the gist, there is a time and place for everything, it is unwise to give unsolicited information over the balcony.
I am mandated to give thanks to God before all things after all it's by him and through him that I have my being.
From here on all that I write will be off cuff no pre mediation so help me Lord.
Is SSD light in complexion or dark in complexion?
Huh what has that got to do with anything?!
Must be because I just finished reading her blog.
I need some genuine aboniki....there is one lying next to me right now and I think I may be runnig out them soon. I like the feeling that comes with knowing I have ample stock of aboniki. Does it mean I am an old woman.......Error that can't be right.
I know I look and act younger that my age. Actually I don't act, I'm just young at heart.
"drinks more water"
By the way where is Jinta and it's been a while since I visited Laspapi sef.
Ok this post is going to be bloggers biased 'cos I decided to experiment after doing blog rounds.
I wish something interesting will come to my mind so I can just blog it scandalous or not.
For real Bumight you are a case blog marriage and blog baby, even SSD is organising blog baby shower
"laughs all by herself"
Thankfully no one is around to hear me lol alone.
FB and FBA showdown will be nice and I will be the Funmi Iyanda interviewing both of them.
I am baised towards FBA, that man/boy/dude is "89*&^)($", as in I got no words to describe him
....wait wait it's coming to me now yes the boy is Kreative with capital K.
Talking of K, XSN comes to my mind.
Ok enough already this post was an experiment to see what I would write without premeditation but obviously I have been unconsciously meditated by the blog rounds I did before writing the post....
"drinks more water"
Verdict: Whether consciously or unconsiously all posts are premeditated?!
Or what do you all think?
Wait lemme see if something else will come to my head
Yes I see it now Naira is coming to my head
...false that is also premeditated by the picture of Saheed Balogun on Facebook with Naira notes.
"swallows the water playing around in her mouth"
Ah of course Jeremiah 29:11 is also coming, because I read it on two blogs this morning.
Ok I need to try this some other time preferably in the middle of the night straight waking up from a deep slumber I shall blog, that will be much more preferable.
Smiles mischieviously...oh the joy of having a blog
See ya later
What shall I say unto the Lord, all I want to say is thank you Lord. That my eyes have seen this new month, dansaki re o Father Lord.
I want to confess that apart from the one time I checked on the blogger award thingy and saw a long list, I retreated to go and gather strenght and wisdom to vote (ok more like I was like whatt this is work, will log in later that night I forgot completely) and did not vote. 'Shaka shaka sho sho'* for us non voters (i.e. that is the opposite of clapping o) and a big gbosa for all the winners
Anyhoos I need to get some posts of my chest/box as per spring cleaning time now so here goes Spring Clean Interval - Part 1
Tip 1: Always rinse your mouth after eating Bran flakes or salad, infact after every meal for goodness sake bran particles stuck in Braces will not make you like a superstar, learn from brace wearing bloggers' experience.
Tip 2: To ensure that your fly is not at risk of being left open, always zip up before clasping the hook (hook clasping gives a false security that you are ok), experience they say is the best teacher, again learn from a bloggers' experience.
It is really distressing to hear the sludges of "who knows what" as it goes through the pipe after flushing on the first floor, I don't care that this is brand shining new edifice. You need to go and collect a refund from the silly Architect and put proper decking, sound proof or somethin on the toilet roof - concerned staff. P.S I am ready to go back to my old section in protest and will set up a picket line if you insist on torturing me like this. Who am decieving I probably just continue to tell you how airy and open this office is and keep agreeing with you that it fosters closer ways of working. Even though I want to throw Marvin's phone through the glass window for that horrendous ringtone he has refused to put on silent.
And another thing
I have said it once, twice, thrice and the next person who says I am in IT and should know what new version of Oracle is in the market may be mistakenly mulled by my fangs.
Why are folks so dull of hearing, 30+ can not repair your system, does not necessarily know what the programming language they used to develop your software, does not know how to make your PC work. My skills are limited to banging the laptop head, shutting it down and starting again. Just because I work with IT folks does not make me an IT person. Infact I am not IT.Congrats Darkelcee and may the Lord bless you with muscles as you walk the paths of mortar carrying, yam pounding wives.
Chari, keep the faith, drink and baff with plenty cold water, you are able.
Till Later, love plenti
If e no be GOD na original Satan, that is why I choose to give the Almighty father of life from whom blessings come all the glory, honour and power He is the Real Deal.
Since my last gist was on my gym and the characters therein, I decided to share another man's gist (as sent to my inbox) at his own gym.
This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.Dear Diary,
For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college football team 25 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
Called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 yr old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swimwear. My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
Started my day at 6:00am. Tough to get out of bed, but it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She was something of a Greek goddess -- with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!!!!Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. She took my pulse after 5 minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attributed it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobics outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring, Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air, and then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the toothbrush on thecounter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurts when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other nonsense too.
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking,I ran and hid in the men's room. She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
I hate that witch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anaemic little cheerleader. If there were a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the *&%#(#&**!!@*@ Barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year, my wife (the other witch), will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a vasectomy
How y'all keeping? Oya for the fact that you are reading this blog and post at this time take a minute to thank God, done.
I have tried to be a good girl by eating my 5 a day and going to the gym at least 2x a week. Although the pounds refuse to shift I am resolved to press on I need to keep fit.
For now, let me chronicle what happened at my gym with a girl/lady I call 'made in nigeria' (you go soon find out).
Size O a.k.a Twiggy
Skinny as they come, the type that some traditional women will argue can not bear children because she does not have child bearing hips or milk giving boobs. I was oberving her leg and the other and remember my brother's nickname in secondary school 'cassava plant'. Just because you are skinny don't mean you should not gym abi, you still need to keep fit but she takes it to another level. She is a permanent fixture at the gym one particular week I went to gym like 4 times (a good week) and my Twiggy was there each time.
I come into gym she is there, I leave like 1 hour or more later and she is still there.
The passion (almost as if posessed) with which she attacks the threadmill and the crosstrainer (her favourites) has led me to believe that "what lies beyond no 6 may be more than 7". I kid you not over the month her gym slacks are now falling off her hips and she rolls it to fit her small deriere.I wish to go and ask the girl to slow her role but I remember the proverbs that "Soldiers ants are tiny but deadly". I don't want to have to be scraped off the gym floor for not minding my own business.
Another set of gym loyalist, they come in to the together all the time and I wonder if they rehearse their steps or it is a coincidence that their walking is always in sync left together right together. Threadmill together adjacent while chatting, they row together, do the steppers together and you can see the scrawl on the guy's face go up a notch, on occassions when gym is full which means no adjacent machines. Funny though despite the seeming togetheress it does not sit well that they are a couple. Infact for a long time I thought she was training him until I saw him hanging outside the ladies changing room so they could enter the gym together. Maybe it's because the guy always has this look on him like a soldier on mission compared to the cool Missus.
There are more
The three jolly Greys: They are definitely over 60's, 2 ladies and 1 guy. I am a sucker for grey hair it evokes this air of Wisdom, Victories, Surviving. I so much Love the way the guy waits for the ladies while they finish up on a machine, I am sure one of the ladies is his wife.The encourager: Let's just say when I look at her, I tell myself that if she is not discouraged then I should not be.
Recently I saw this newbie who come in and she most def was 'made in Nigeria', how did I know. Well 'We' kind of made that knowing eye contact ('as in you are we know ourselves') and smiled oyinbo smile.
She was on the threadmill while I headed for the rower. When she finished on treadmill she went to weigh herself (well it's common for folks to weigh themselves when they come in and when leaving). Next my homegirl went on cross trainer and after like 15mins hopped off and straight on the scales again (okay o). Before you know it 'made in Nigeria' gets on steppers just as I was leaving the rower, after like 15-20mins, guess what? Yes 'homegirl' goes to weigh herself yet again (by now I am chuckling to myself and thinking, girlfriend please represent now na today). Thankfully she leaves gym room (or so I thought) while I battled on the crosstrainer.
Like 10mins later 'Made in Nigeria' comes back into gym and did something odd, she was sniffing her fingers and I am thinking hmmn she is checking that no traces of no 2 is left under the nails. Well take a while guess on what she did next?! You guessed right the babe promptly went on the scales again to weigh herself. At this point in time I was trying so hard to hold my piss (yes piss) and not burst out laughing weight loss by fire by force.
You see a while back one of my colleague gave me a secret which was "the easiest way to loose 2lbs in 2 mins is to do a dump of no 2" and for maximum weight loss ensure ample no 1(liquid) and no 3(gas) is added. When my thoughts came to the liquid part, I had to abandon xtrainer and make a dash to the white house holding my piss and laughter along the way, it was no easy feat.
Human beings we are so impatient, sure she did not pile the pounds one in one day, why she expects it to go in one day pass me.
Morale of my gist, Rome was not built in a day, like the songwriter said "Lord help me to take one day at a time"
Abeg y'all can go and try the weight loss recipee which I call "dump 1, 2 and 3" free of charge courtesy THIRTY +.
Unto the Lord be the glory, great things he has done. Protection, favour are top of the list of the things that baba God has done for me.
NEPA, Okada o, Mosquito o, stinky helmet, crazy driving, unsympathetic sweltering temperature, norrin dey happen I full ground well well, naija was quite okay.
Ok I admit, I did not full ground at all when some soldier guy decided to shoot in the air to scare a few tactless drivers. As in, it's like, you know, just right in front of me, live and direct I saw a gun being fired. *'Tafa o' my liver jumped into my mouth as all the horror stories of misfiring did a fast forward play in my memory and I quickly ducked in my seat to the amusement of my friend who was the one driving.
Friend: "He just fired in the air now, it's meant to scare those guys off"
Me: "Okayyeee o" whilst wondering what happened to the good old tear gas, or banging on a car or simply barking an order.
Thing is it's been quite a long time I heard a gun shot and even much, much, much longer time since I saw a gun fired. Needless to say, I was a bit shaken(just a bit o). Anyway like I said norring dey happen.
I sold most of the items I took with me save some shirts and some bits and bobs. Thank God for that.
It's good visit one's home country as much as possible to witness some of the metamorphosis so one can be in the know. Man mi I open mouth for Oshodi o, kai, Fashola is trying.
Glad I went and came back in one piece, thank you Lord
An immigration / customs / Airport official asks for a passengers passport and then proceed to open an american visa page which had expired (how did I know?!, it belonged to my travelling buddy). The officer only looked at the expired visa page o and returned the passport back waving the passenger to proceed. I was going to be cheeky and ask if she notice the lady's visa had expired and other question including what her role is, if she needed glassed but decided to mind my business.
This issue of copyright business is not funny, it is sad when a blogger uses their time and creativity to create original material for his/her blog just to have some smarty pant rank xerox it. Worse still there seems to be no way of bring the offender(s) to order. It is sad indeed.
By the way the Anon person or persons that said they will be fapping my 'Him and me post', a permission should be granted before going ahead to use anybodys property (intellectual or otherwise). And please do reference this URL site if and when the article is used.
JENI O, JENI BABY, JENIFFERBBC
I have watched JENIFA like four times now and it's still a rib cracker. However, getting an email from Jennifer was puzzling see below:
Hello Dear,How are you today i hope you are fine. my name is miss jennifer,iam a yung lady i saw your profile today at(www.nairaland.com)and i became intrested in you,i will also like to know you more,I hope you will be the true loving, honest, trutfull,God faring,trustworld,sincere, and caring man,that I have been looking for,And I have something special to tell you about myself, So please reply me now so that I will send you my picture and tell you what i want to tell you about my self.God bless you.Yours sincerely jennifer.
The mail arrived in my inbox complete with email address, email@example.com.
Pity this *mugun can not *gbori wole for so many reasons and on so many lefus (levels), *mo le ju gbogbo iyen lo
*Tafa o - An exclamation coined by thirty plus, understandable only to her
*Mugun - term for a stupid / greedy victim of fraud.
*gbori wole - swallowing a bait
*mo le ju gbogbo iyen lo - I am too wise to fall for that scam
God owns all the land and continent for realz, he is the original Alale (land owner). Thank you father for the Godly inheritance that I have in you including landed properties.
Okay to answer all your questions, I am not relocating o, no way hosey! Relocation to Naija is not even on the radar at the moment.
I know folks say that "there is no place like home", but there is another saying that "home is where the heart is". For now my heart is in the town where I get fresh drinking water from the tap, freezing cold unpredictable weather, walking by the river side close to my house to reflect, lovely hills and scenery, the laid back enviroment, the friendships I have built.
You get the gist, my heart is not in Nigeria except for the occassional holiday. Not even the persuasive words and posts of my friend Postcard from Lagos can persuade me otherwise.
Meanwhile I am totally enjoying PH and was very impressed by some of the improvements in Gidi. I mean it only took like one and half hours for us to drive from VGC to Ikeja during rush hour was expecting it to be 3 hours. Yet to get on the BRT sha, will try to do that before I return, as for Okadas, mum is the word...
Darkelcee I no fit reach you o ringing no reply.
Till Later, love you yanfu yanfu
How una dey. Praise God from whom all blessings come.
Kajiko 2009 would be an interesting year, that much I know.
The long of it is that I am hot like faya, suddenly folks in the non cyber world see me as the encyclopedia to all their questions. Ok may be that is a bit of exagerration sha but it does feel as if I am very much in demand.
The short of it is I am not being in demand on the babe level o, just for my brain and minimal IT skills. I have given up explaining that I am not an IT person....kpom.
Anyhoos it would be nice to be in demand on the babe level sha.....squash that don't need the drama of babe demand just a supply of a cool headed, God fearing, brown sugar of man with no games because I have also kissed date goodbye.
I wonder why :- On new year day, Mz 30+ had two separate discussions which were exactly the same on relationships. I wonder what that was all about considering I am the last person to put nose inside other people's relation and to make matters more eerie it was on new year day. Imagine starting the new year discussing other people's relationship...abeg o let it not be sign of things to come, I am so not Dear Agony Aunt.
Small Gist : - Another New year surprise, one of my peeps was sorely vexed when a friend sprung the marriage surprise on him on New year day. According to him, they use to discuss their singleness and all that matter together. Next thing you know dude is leaving him behind to go and marry worse still it's not it was impromptu wedding 'cos of the long counselling and protocol the guy must have gone through. Felt sorry for the guy, I thought it was only we girls that did that kind of thing. But peeps mi at the same time I don't blame the dude who kept his business close to heart, he must have good reasons...maybe he has seen AIYE before a.k.a Winches, Fiends because come to think of it he (the one getting married) loves to pray the fall down and die prayer a lot...nuff said.
I am packing my boxes, this Ajala girl is going to Gidi, do I hear an Amen. Yes o ma peeps before you blink your eye I don reach that side of the equator only took me like 5 months to get my act together abi, I should have gone since summer blogger reunion but kno. Anyway OUR TIMES ARE IN GOD's HANDS.
Ikira(Adulation)x9 for Baba God who has caused us to partake of this New Year.
Father I bless you from the isale patapata(the very bottom) of my heart.
To all my fellow bloggers, the readers, the perusers HAPPY 2009 to you all.
In the manner of counting, especially for the human race, the number 9 is significant, moreso for the expectant mother. It represents the completion of gestation and month of Delivery for a new offspring to be born.
An expectant mother is picky about what she eats, where she goes, and what she does. An expectant mother is Nesty i.e. making her surrounding, clean and homely.
This year folks watch what you say, eat, do and the kind of folks you hang out with. Take time making your spirit, soul and body homely for your maker
Remember delivery is often accompanied by birth pangs and discomfort, this is soon forgotten once delivery occurs.
This New Year you will take Delivery, Deliver and be Delivered.
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