On sex, kids and lies

Hello Everybody

Hope you are feeling fine! "Oluwa ni Olugbala aya ta ni o fo mi" ("The Lord is my deliverer whom shall I fear")...Halleluyah plenty!

I read LG's post on Let's talk about sex which she wrote way back and it reminded me about my friend and his 10 year old son.

The boy came and asked her about what to buy for a girl he loved (or something like that). My friend was shocked! Not that she is ignorant that this is normal in the UK but for some reason she deluded herself that "Femi" was different.

Kudos to her they are very close, he is the only child they have and is practically tied to momma's string by choice.
She discovered that the boy had been texting the girl with all his credit and really liked the girl.

What was her response to all these I asked?

Friend: "Well I told him that he needs to be careful especially when he was not yet sure if the girl is God's will for him in marriage."

Thirty+: "What?! please don't tell me you actually said that?"

Friend: "Wo o ba mi lojiji (I was caught unawares) and that was the first sensible thing I could say".

Marriage, Will of God?! Ogini mere?! I laughed till I nearly peed in my pant, how could she have said that to a 10year old boy. And she did not help matters, telling me in her most serious tone that it was not a laughin matter, of course I laughed the more.

Eh ya bless her heart. I don't think anyone prepared her for parenting like that as in my home girl was brought up in our own era with strict christian background. Did not have a boyfriend (her husband was her first), is not exposed in any way. At least some of us read blogs and our eye open small.

So she asked me "What would you have said?!."

I seriously thought about it for a moment and was not sure what I would have said either. As in free me abeg, it's not me who has a 10year old son in love, when I get to that bridge I'll cross it. She pointed out my hypocrisy as in at least she said something even though it may not be the most sensible or appropriate thing to have said but she had no prior warning

Now that I have had time to think about it, maybe I would say something like "What do you mean when you say you love her"? "Why do you think you love her"? (Stalling, I know). Then I would advice him that girls are to be treated nicely and with respect, treat her like your sister and a good friend or something along those lines.

What if he turns and says "but I really love her"?
I could do either of the following
  1. Suggest to cook his favourite meal and then put on a three hour film that we should watch together like the 'English Patient'. Hopefully by that time he would have forgotten or his Dad would have arrived for hand over.
  2. Alternatively I may consider buying him Tina Turner's Album "What's Love got to do with it"
  3. Say something like this "It's good that you are in Love as long as your 'Pee Pee' does not go near her 'Vee Vee'. (P.S At what age can a girl get pregnant?)
  4. Tell him about the story of Sodom and Gomorrah.
My friend went for the hand over option, after their initial conversation she promptly reported the boy handed him to the father to "sort his son out".


Unbiased said...

lol!! But then a girl can get pregnant as early as 9 o!! Once monthly visitor starts coming.

I will also cross this bridge when i get to it. 10yr old ke?

fantasy queen said...

Sodom and Gomorrah? lmao, you want to put the boy off women for life????

like you said, i will cross that bridge when i get to it.

Enkay said...

hehehe! Miz 30+! So funny!

I guess I'll go along with him and ask him what he thinks she might like. He's just 10years old after all.

Maybe the Sodom and Gomorrah stories will start when he turns 13! lol!

Sassy Trends said...

Na wa o, werin man no go see for this world?
10yr old ke?
Well, if na me ehn! chei... e go here am and I will have to ask the papa what he has been feeding his son with!

Good Naija Girl said...

lol that's hilarious.

Gosh, I would ask about what he means by love o, and tell him to always treat everyone, including the object of his affection with respect as you said. I know it's important to let kids know about sex and the Christian values regarding premarital sex, but I'd like to believe that my 10 year old (when he or she comes by God's grace) or most 10 year old boys aren't thinking of sex yet, so when he speaks of love he just means "an innocent, harmless crush". Maybe I'm the naive one though.

And yes, the hand over sounds good to me lol!

Sassy Trends said...
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Sassy Trends said...
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bumight said...


i'll ask him what he thinks love is. maybe go along the route of telling him to respect her and treat her like his SISTER!

cos the truth is, its only going downhill from here on, and if u scare him away or appear "uncool" u might not hear about the girl he "loves" till she's pregnant for him!

chayoma said...

kids are growing so fast, i dunno whatt's gonna happen when i have mine.
Hand him over i'll say, atleast i knw what to tell my daugther, DONT GET PREGNANT!

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Anonymous said...

Hmmm, for some funny reason would have thot she would advise him on the gift to get, afterall he has his own money and "...been texting the girl with all his credit and really liked the girl." Then, after the episode she can educate him on 'love' issues.

If not, he could go ask his friends for advise, and they could be much more daring on what he could get her.

Uzezi said...

the English Patient of all films? lol. 'Love Actually' is probably the movie of choice here, where Huge Grant was PM of Britain. there was a lil boy there who told his step father he was in love with a girl. they sorted it out pretty well. but na oyibo dem be. we dont do stuff like that here.

darkelcee said...

hehehe no comment,
God dive me the grace to padle accross when and if it comes my way.

how are you doing?

Anoda Phase said...

lol...more lol...some more lol...

10 yrs old? boi! I don't know oh...I would have been tongue-tied too...but ehmm, well, I'll sure ask him for his definition of love, hoping that it's more of "like" than "love", and then we can take it from there...lol

histreasure said...

hilarious post, u just had me laffing out loud this early morning..
d mama confusion, d poor woman least expected that frm her 10yr old
and ur own suggestions - wicked- lol

aloted said...

awww bless him! reminds me of the 10 year old boy in the movie "love actually". I really wonder what i would say as well..i think i'll go for the handover option and the "treat her with respect"

but your friend's first answer was hilarious..hehehe..am sure the son was wondering.."huh??"

aloted said...

meanwhile i dont think the sodom and gomorrah story will help o..most of the men liked other men abi??...which isnt the case with ur friend's son...

LusciousRon said...

I can't stop laughing! Nice options. Hmmn in truth, I will be shocked too! In love ke?

Anyways when i was a kid, I read about a 9 yr old girl being pregnant. You know once menstruation starts, wahala don come be that!

LOL @ pee pee and vee vee!

FFF said...

@ GNG: 10 years isn't too young 4 a child 2 b thinking abt sex oh. he may not yet be doing it, unless if royally spoilt by one pedophile, but 2 think abt it, dat certainly happens. & 4 naija too! no b 4 my primary school, primary 3 or 4 i think, where all d boys were stretching d veejayjay & passing it around.

@ 30+: nna mehn, i think i for do as ur friend did oh, considering d shock of d moment. will definitely b handing over d matter 2 daddy abeg. make panic no make me talk wetin go scar d boy 4 life

Nairasoure Forum said...

let us all learn to listen to our parents.

Tigeress said...

10 year old in love? Seriously- it's not that serious. I'm sure there was someone in our class we all had a crush on while in primary school. At least the boy is not gay!!!

Vera Ezimora said...

Hahahahahahahaha. Ur friend is a trip! God's will ke? LOL!! I'm sure God was on His seat laughing out loud with His peeps.

Ehm... that Sodom story to a ten year old sha...! I don't know how he'll take it.

P.S. If you do tell the Sodom story, will you include the part of the men who wanted to have sex with Lot's visitors? And will you include the part of Lot's daughters getting him drunk and sleeping with him?

Just wondering. LOL.

Buttercup said...

Lol! Come to think of it, I dunno what I'd say either!

Olufunke said...

I thought about it, not sure for now, what I would have said too

still LOL@ the will of God part of it.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

So funny. I havnt laughed hard in ages. Thanks for this post.

tobenna said...

And what did his father tell him?