"Ah you this woman your stupidity knows no bound, I wonder how you were able to get a degree from the University...anyway it figures"

"What have I done now?"

"You are a fool". "Is it me you are talking to like that?" "Can you talk to that retard you call your brother like that"

"I am sorry" Ladun turns to walk away

"Come back here stupid dog I have not finished talking"

She turns towards him.

"Asewo (he continued), what do you call this?" Pointing to the food on the table

"It's jollof rice, fresh fish and dodo just as you like it"

"So because I like it I have to eat it morning evening and night"

Ladun made a mental note of the last time she cooked jollof rice - 4 days ago.

Leke gets up and asks "Daddy if you are not hungry I can eat the food" with a hint of defiance. He hated it when Dad gets like that.

"My boy don't worry I will eat it" said Demola turning to Leke while waving dismissly at her.

"So my boy was school today Son?", he continued

Saved by Leke's interruption Ladun slips away as Demola resumes to eat the food in front of him with relish.

Back in her bedroom Ladun reflects on the living room incident, feeling blank his voice echoed in her head Asewo, Stupid, Fool those were his current favourites. There were others Dog, Dumb, Retard, Bitch, A** H***, Slut, Good for nothing, Mad, Witch whatever suited his ego.

At least today was not a public display. The last time he had called her a "f******g Retard"right in front of the waiteress who was taking her order just because she asked for clarity on a menu item. The waitress turned bright red and quickly made an excuse to exit obviously embarrassed for her.

The 1st episode was after honeymoon when he shouted at her raining curses because she turned the fridge off and caused the flat to be smelling from rotten food. She felt deserving for wasting money he spent on the food. Nevertheless she was visibly shaken by the obscenities that came from his mouth the least of which was a moron. Things snowballed after that.

In as much as she tried to talk to him, he found a way to make her feel deserving of the abuse and their was always a big argument where she ended up with even more name calling.

Her mother in law claims she is too soft and should not take it to heart. Her own mother says the matrimonial home is a place of learning and boasts how she has stayed in her matromial home for 36yrs with her father.

So she keeps stomaching it, 9 years of constant degradation, belittling had left her an emotional wreck. She reached out for her medication.

She could not leave her marriage. As much as she hated what he was doing to her, she could not just think of life any other way, this was all she knew.
Of course there was her parent factors, their friends, the kids, what will she give as her excuse.

In all fairness he never laid his hand on her although she desperately hoped he would, it would be much easier.

Thinking out loud she said "I know he loves me and only wants what is best for me". It was common knowledge that while Demola was sharp, quick and very intelligent, Ladun admits that she on the other hand can be a bit sluggish. She sighed and resolved for the hundredth time to try even harder.

Demola the epitome of husband and father. When he is not abusing her he is sweet to all asundry, to the world he is the perfect example of a good husband and father. Just recently at a ladies lunch they had last month, Ivy had insisted that Debo (Ranti's husband) should take a leaf from Demola on how to be a responsible husband. Ranti's husband was a notorius wife beater, everyone sympathised as they saw the bruises Debo inflicted on Ranti and were all in unison that she should leave Debo.

Ladun had screamed at her friends "Help he is killing me", "I have wounds too","I am dying slowly" but no one heard because her lips refused to move. They kept chattering away oblivious of her inner turmoil. Ivy repeatedly insisted Debo should go and learn from Demola who was a role model. Holding on tightly to her Latte cup was all Ladun could do to keep from pouncing on Ivy and strangling the life out of her because every mention of her husband's name was making her shakes worse.

The shakes, they were really getting worse by the day

At that instance she heard Demola bellow out her name "Ladddduuuun, where is this Retard of a woman?" she jolted back to reality almost jumping out of her skin. Heart beating loudly, she said a little prayer and crept slowly to the living room to answer her darling husband.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction but is daily reality for some women.

Abuse takes different forms, the scars are similar.

30 days of Thankfulness - Day 19

Join me in the Thankfulness Chain....if you've been tagged, please complete the tag on the assigned dayexample... if you're tagged for November 20... that is day 20 and you should title your post 30 Days of Thankfulness 2 - Day 20provide a link to the person that tagged you previouslyAlso provide a link to the two people that you're tagging for the next day so we can all follow the chain... DO let them know they're being tagged.. why they're being tagged, and how to grow the chainif you're unable to do the tag on your assigned day... still choose the day to reflect the date you do it (if you're choosing not to back date it) ...example... if you're tagged for November 25 but dont get to do it till November 27... and you're not back dating.. it's okay to do it as Day 27 you can post these rules or something to this effect to help it along.. :-) (From Diamond)

I was taggged by Bimbylads

This is Day 19th of Thankfulness Chain

I am thankful for the gift of Jesus Christ, whom I discovered through pages of the Bible, no cajoling from anyone, no hard message from the pulpit, you are real to me and I will never forget the day you stepped into my life the summer of 1987. Over the years you have been the anchor of my soul MY SAVIOUR, MY MASTER AND A TRUE FRIEND INDEED. Thank you JESUS for coming into my life, lifting me from a place of lowliness to a place higher than I, I love you so much, you mean the world to me.

I am thankful for the gift of my family, they are my greatest fan club.

I want to thank God for the gift of the pilgrim lifestyle because he is pushing me out of my comfort zone and expanding my horizon.

I am thankful for the gift of Blogville because I found friends and dare I say another family like no other and an avenue to share, bless and be blessed.

I want to thank God for the gift of humour because I can laugh at myself and make others laugh at the same time.

I am thankful for the gift of waiting because in it God is working out the fruit of Patience.

I want to thank God for my job because it is Purely God's compensation.

I am thankful because God never forgets.

I want to thank God because he rewards.

I amd thankful because he is the God of EQUITY AND JUSTICE.

I want to thank God for the gift of my emotion because even though it gets on my nerves that I feel/empathise so much it is God's way of ensuring that I just don't walk away.

I want to thank God because "won seun, anu won duro titi lai" ("he is good and his mercies endures")

I am thankful because he is "Ariroala" ("The mystery that speaks in dreams")

I want to thank God because he is "Aji pa ojo iku da" ("He changes times and season")

I am thankful because he is "Atobajaye" ("with him life is worth enjoying")

I want to thank God because he is "Emmanuel" ("God with us")

P.S - You don't have to wait to be tagged, thank him anyway

Meme On

Trust you are all keeping well. I am good settling well in my crib. Teeth is healed well still get the odd bleed sometimes sha.
A big shout out to my home girl MOMMY it was her Birthday yesterday, please drop by to celebrate with her and give her your well wishes. OBIWANNE my Blog Bruv also celebrated on Friday 9th (that boy knows how to enjoy sha).

Gist dey but it is not flowing in my head right now plus I promised some gist on mumulicious guy, I have not forgotten. Anyways for now I will join the Meme club.
So here goes my first Meme which I 'borrowed' from Rinsola’s page who borrowed it from FG who borrowed it from I don’t’ know who. I also borrowed it from Aijay's page.

I am...: Blessed and Divinely favoured

My ex-boyfriend was...: I don't do Exes (the term irritates me). If you mean the guy I dated last, he is fine and we are good friends - they all are.

Maybe I should....: Invite my folks over here for Christmas

I love....: To Daydream and Fantasise

I don't understand....: Why people dwell on negative things so much

I lost my....: Lovely Earring (lost one of the pair. got a few like that and can bear to throw away the other pair)

People say I'm...: Funny and Different

Love is....: The Greatest

Somewhere, someone is....: Reading this post and imagining what I look like

I will always...: Find a reason to rejoice and smile

Forever is....: The mercy of God

I never want to...: Die Unfulfilled

I think the current President is....: Yaradua (innit)

When I wake up in the morning, I....: check time, say thank you Lord and snooze some more.

Life is full of...: Parables

My past is incredibly...: Interesting and Rewarding

I get annoyed when...: People don't respond to needs right on their nose.

Parties are for...: Dancing and Good food

I wish...: I could feed every hungry child, if just for a day.

Tomorrow I'm going to...: Clear my room and do some shopping

I really want some....: Amala and Abula with fish right now

I have low tolerance for people who....: Cheat others and are Slimy.

If I had a million dollars...: Get myself a good accountant and Investment manager put them on my payroll full time, a lawyer (part time).


Dentist and Needles

Hi Peeps,

Hope you are all doing great. Happy new month. Thank God for his mercies from January to November.

I had to go to the dentist for what I thought was a follow up appointment on my initial consultation on Monday. I have been procastinating getting braces so I can sort my teeth overcrowding and finally took the plunge last month with an inital conultation. The "follow up appointment" was on Monday.

At this junction it may be worth mentioning that there are some things that don't sit well with 30+; PAIN, NEEDLE, DENTIST are top on list among others.

Like earlier this year, I went to get a jab and the drama that ensued is fresh on my memory. My sister and I were both getting the jab so she had her own first. When it was my turn she come and see action, my sister had warned the nurse that I was scared of needles but she was going to calm me down.

The nurse was not prepared for what happened next. While my sister was holding my hand, looking in my eyes to comfort/distract me, I made a mistake of turning and caught sight of the long pointy thing as she tapped it.
Katakata burst...bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah 30+ started to howl, as in hand holding head mashing leg on ground.

It took another 5-10 minutes, a few failed attempts, lots of cajoling and distraction from my sister coupled with speaking in tongues (not out of spirituality but fear) before I was calm enough to get the injection. Suffice to say I left quite an impression on some nurses as well as patients in the waiting area who heard my voice. Thankfully I have not had to go back to the GP again.

Dentist: It is the Zzzzzzzzzzz noise and the pain which always heads straight for your brain. When I had to remove my wisdom tooth, mama 30+ had to come with me(yes I no get shame) even though she was living a bit far, this was a desperate situation and she knew (bless Mums). The dentist too got a free show and even mama 30+ joined me to cry.

She wonders how I will cope with child birth, with the way I am, I assure her she will be on standby with my husband and they will both forgive me for whatever Transpires.

Anways so I was not prepared for Monday, I assumed it was a further consultation since appointment said 15-20mins consultation. How was I to know they can remove TWO WHOLE TEETH in 20mins. Maybe because it took longer with the wisodm tooth, then again that was a "complicated procedure"

Imagine MY HORROR when the dentist smiling said

“Ms 30+ , so I will be removing 2 teeth, the left premolar blah....

"2 Gini" I eyed the door knob far away from me and my jacket in the corner as I made a mental calculation of Hop, Step and Jump out of the chair. Alas he was already towering over me as he touched each tooth about to be dislodged. "Why is he smiling, what is funny in removing someone’s teeth" "Mr man if only you knew how close your nose is to the teeth you are about to dislodge and the ease of my teeth latching the very tip of the NOSE you may reconsider the smiling"

"Ohaew" was all I could mutter.

I maintained, started to pray silently and psyche myself up confessing positive things in my head. The calming screen attached to the ceiling was a bit helpful and I was starring hard at it while my hands were gripping the side of the chair almost to point of tearing the leather.
I must not cry hear today o, nobody to console me o, I will not cry, I will not cry...

Singing halleluyah, eyes closed so I didn't have to see the needle first aaarrgh....Numbness in the jaw...........then came the ZZzzzzzzzzz.

All that happened next was a BBBllluuurrr as I tried hard to go to my happy place.

About 10-15mins later, two teeths sent to their demise and 105 bucks out of pocket, I managed to maintain my cool, no actual tears just mist and I was feeling sorry for myself. Not sure why, whether it was
a) Surviving a needle and dentist ordeal all by myself
b) The demise of my teeth or
c) My lighter bank account.

Two resolutions for me after that experience
1) One of my kids will be ENCOURAGED VERRYY STRONGLY to be a dentist so we can save ourselves a small fortune on trips to dentists.
2) Let me save that other one 1 for inside stomach.

Till Later, stay safe