Merry Christmas everyone. Trust y'all having a good one. Thank God for his unending love and mercy.
Well I am having a good time in LA, yes ke, in fact I am broadcasting live from LA.
Small Rant: I had to pay $14 extra for 24hr internet access, imagine that pstew. if not that I was missing Blogville.
LA Highlights so far, seeing the sunset on Santa Monica Beach. Oh my dayztis was spectacular. As the sun went down on one side the moon was coming out on the other withing a short period of time. I stood in awe meditating on these two incredible entities wondering on the mystery of it all. Geography tells me that the earth is spinning in it's orbit hence we move around the sun blah de blah, however that theory was furthest from my mind as I beheld this happening before my very eyes. See video below.
The hills around Los Angeles generally are amazing, however as you drive down descending to Camarillo City, phew one word Fantastic (click on the pictures for better view). I felt humble looking at the mountains sprawled out in majestic splendour with overlays of green and golden grass carpet. GOD IS AMAZING the work of nature indeed speak of HIS MAJESTY.
Pix 1 (side view)
Pix 2 (Camarillo city seen beyond)
Pix 3 (more view from side)
Pix 4
On another note, LA DRIVING IS CRAZY, I think most drivers get weed as present for passing their driving test.....(full gist later).
Till later, we will ALL enter year 2008 with nothing / no one missing nor any loss suffered in Jesus Name.
Thank God that we are alive at such a time like this. "He whom has kept us this far will continue with us".
I was tagged by Princessa to let you in on the weirdness of 30+
Un: I like counting. It is borderline obsessive but not compulsive e.g. I will stand outside a high rise and building start counting the floors and number of windows it has. I will carry my coin box empty it all and start counting sorting by denomination. If you ever see me in church or a party stretching my neck as if searching for someone na lie, I am probably counting the number of people in that gathering.
Deux: I am no 2 biased. This to me is the mother of weirdness. If I am staying overnight in your house or a couple of days/1 week. I will not be able to do no 2. However if I come just for a brief visit and the white house is clean I have no qualms. I have tried and proven this weirdness many times and it still holds true.
Trois: I zone out a lot. E.g we are all together in a living room having a good gist and generally yarning. Next thing 30+ is all quiet, you have to tap her to come back. It is usually because a thought has come to my mind and I have to process there and then, it can't wait.
Quarte: I like watching cartoons. Although these days I don't watch any form of T.V. however when I do watch it, amongst my favourite shows are/were Rugrats (until they grew up - not cool), Arnold and Recess. Sshh don't tell anyone but there was actually a time I stayed up to watch teletubbies.
Cinq: I remember random things about people. E.g. I met you 10yrs ago and suddenly see you again my memory flashes all I see in my mind is Cat. Why because you probably told me you were having your cat neutered back then. I may not remember your name or where we met but remember your cat's name, or your aunty's birthday e.t.c
Seize: I do a lot of acting/stories in my head e.g. I see some folks in the supermarket and the guy does or say something bad, in my head I see that the wife did something yesterday and this was how she did it and why she did it. I also continue their story in my head, what will happen when they get home, who will say sorry. I also go ahead to write a story of how the man or woman grew up (remember I don't know these folks from jack).
Sept: My expressions are a dead give away of how I feel. Picture this you come into a room and tell a lie, 'involuntarily' my nose turns up and my eye says yeah right. It has no respect for who is talking, I could do the same in front of Yaradua and have gotten into trouble a couple of times as folks have reported that I called them a liar (not me o, my expression). I am working very hard to moderate it, these days you will hardly notice, except for keen observers (like my current boss).
Huit: I am a people watcher. We are at a party and everybody is grooving, even while dancing and laughing my eyes dashes round and I notice the smallest frown, the fake laugh, the one that seemed confused and will describe them back to you as such. Forget what they were wearing just say "the one that smiled least at the party" and and I will get the gist. I also 'used to' stare a lot so much so as a small child I was given a nickname to that effect. Presently I have now perfected the art doing it without the object/subject's knowledge so I no longer call it staring but "Observing".
Here goes I hereby tag darkelcee, undacova, bimbylads, jaybabe, onyiodchic, kimpossible, aminata, naijafineboy(hope he wakes from slumber). If you have been tagged before that means you still got some weirdness to share (lol) .
LA UPDATE Thanks guys for all your comments my itinerary done full, blogville rocks. Mochafella you tew much, the guy gave me LA 411 in one comment. So I am packing my bags bit by bit may not be able to update till I get there. I do hope the room has Internet access as I will not pay any extra $5 for access after the $XXXs per night for the room. Need to check with my sis who did the booking. If there is Internet access then I will try to broadcast live from LA. If not have aFANTASTIC CHRISTMAS
Happy new month to y'all, 2007 is packing her load, thank God for enduring mercy. The countdown has begun. For me on the one hand is the 2008 countdown, while the other is the countdown for my trip to the city of Angels.
Yes o, if you were planning to come over mine for Christmas you have missed it. This babe is flying her behind out for some good fun. I am so giddy with exctiement because this time I plan to have a proper holiday not those shopping trip frenzy that I have been calling holiday.
Here is the plan, you drop a comment on the must have experiences in LA city and I promise I will not dissapoint. Will visit all the places you mention and come back with loads of gist, okay not only gist but cyber gifts.
Anyways as I promised Allied, this is the piece her poeminspired me to write
"Ah you this woman your stupidity knows no bound, I wonder how you were able to get a degree from the University...anyway it figures"
"What have I done now?"
"You are a fool". "Is it me you are talking to like that?" "Can you talk to that retard you call your brother like that"
"I am sorry" Ladun turns to walk away
"Come back here stupid dog I have not finished talking"
She turns towards him.
"Asewo (he continued), what do you call this?" Pointing to the food on the table
"It's jollof rice, fresh fish and dodo just as you like it"
"So because I like it I have to eat it morning evening and night"
Ladun made a mental note of the last time she cooked jollof rice - 4 days ago.
Leke gets up and asks "Daddy if you are not hungry I can eat the food" with a hint of defiance. He hated it when Dad gets like that.
"My boy don't worry I will eat it" said Demola turning to Leke while waving dismissly at her.
"So my boy was school today Son?", he continued
Saved by Leke's interruption Ladun slips away as Demola resumes to eat the food in front of him with relish.
Back in her bedroom Ladun reflects on the living room incident, feeling blank his voice echoed in her head Asewo, Stupid, Fool those were his current favourites. There were others Dog, Dumb, Retard, Bitch, A** H***, Slut, Good for nothing, Mad, Witch whatever suited his ego.
At least today was not a public display. The last time he had called her a "f******g Retard"right in front of the waiteress who was taking her order just because she asked for clarity on a menu item. The waitress turned bright red and quickly made an excuse to exit obviously embarrassed for her.
The 1st episode was after honeymoon when he shouted at her raining curses because she turned the fridge off and caused the flat to be smelling from rotten food. She felt deserving for wasting money he spent on the food. Nevertheless she was visibly shaken by the obscenities that came from his mouth the least of which was a moron. Things snowballed after that.
In as much as she tried to talk to him, he found a way to make her feel deserving of the abuse and their was always a big argument where she ended up with even more name calling.
Her mother in law claims she is too soft and should not take it to heart. Her own mother says the matrimonial home is a place of learning and boasts how she has stayed in her matromial home for 36yrs with her father.
So she keeps stomaching it, 9 years of constant degradation, belittling had left her an emotional wreck. She reached out for her medication.
She could not leave her marriage. As much as she hated what he was doing to her, she could not just think of life any other way, this was all she knew.
Of course there was her parent factors, their friends, the kids, what will she give as her excuse.
In all fairness he never laid his hand on her although she desperately hoped he would, it would be much easier.
Thinking out loud she said "I know he loves me and only wants what is best for me". It was common knowledge that while Demola was sharp, quick and very intelligent, Ladun admits that she on the other hand can be a bit sluggish. She sighed and resolved for the hundredth time to try even harder.
Demola the epitome of husband and father. When he is not abusing her he is sweet to all asundry, to the world he is the perfect example of a good husband and father. Just recently at a ladies lunch they had last month, Ivy had insisted that Debo (Ranti's husband) should take a leaf from Demola on how to be a responsible husband. Ranti's husband was a notorius wife beater, everyone sympathised as they saw the bruises Debo inflicted on Ranti and were all in unison that she should leave Debo.
Ladun had screamed at her friends "Help he is killing me", "I have wounds too","I am dying slowly" but no one heard because her lips refused to move. They kept chattering away oblivious of her inner turmoil. Ivy repeatedly insisted Debo should go and learn from Demola who was a role model. Holding on tightly to her Latte cup was all Ladun could do to keep from pouncing on Ivy and strangling the life out of her because every mention of her husband's name was making her shakes worse.
The shakes, they were really getting worse by the day
At that instance she heard Demola bellow out her name "Ladddduuuun, where is this Retard of a woman?" she jolted back to reality almost jumping out of her skin. Heart beating loudly, she said a little prayer and crept slowly to the living room to answer her darling husband.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction but is daily reality for some women.
Abuse takes different forms, the scars are similar.
Join me in the Thankfulness Chain....if you've been tagged, please complete the tag on the assigned dayexample... if you're tagged for November 20... that is day 20 and you should title your post 30 Days of Thankfulness 2 - Day 20provide a link to the person that tagged you previouslyAlso provide a link to the two people that you're tagging for the next day so we can all follow the chain... DO let them know they're being tagged.. why they're being tagged, and how to grow the chainif you're unable to do the tag on your assigned day... still choose the day to reflect the date you do it (if you're choosing not to back date it) ...example... if you're tagged for November 25 but dont get to do it till November 27... and you're not back dating.. it's okay to do it as Day 27 you can post these rules or something to this effect to help it along.. :-) (From Diamond)
I am thankful for the gift of Jesus Christ, whom I discovered through pages of the Bible, no cajoling from anyone, no hard message from the pulpit, you are real to me and I will never forget the day you stepped into my life the summer of 1987. Over the years you have been the anchor of my soul MY SAVIOUR, MY MASTER AND A TRUE FRIEND INDEED. Thank you JESUS for coming into my life, lifting me from a place of lowliness to a place higher than I, I love you so much, you mean the world to me.
I am thankful for the gift of my family, they are my greatest fan club.
I want to thank God for the gift of the pilgrim lifestyle because he is pushing me out of my comfort zone and expanding my horizon.
I am thankful for the gift of Blogville because I found friends and dare I say another family like no other and an avenue to share, bless and be blessed.
I want to thank God for the gift of humour because I can laugh at myself and make others laugh at the same time.
I am thankful for the gift of waiting because in it God is working out the fruit of Patience.
I want to thank God for my job because it is Purely God's compensation.
I am thankful because God never forgets.
I want to thank God because he rewards.
I amd thankful because he is the God of EQUITY AND JUSTICE.
I want to thank God for the gift of my emotion because even though it gets on my nerves that I feel/empathise so much it is God's way of ensuring that I just don't walk away.
I want to thank God because "won seun, anu won duro titi lai" ("he is good and his mercies endures")
I am thankful because he is "Ariroala" ("The mystery that speaks in dreams")
I want to thank God because he is "Aji pa ojo iku da" ("He changes times and season")
I am thankful because he is "Atobajaye" ("with him life is worth enjoying")
I want to thank God because he is "Emmanuel" ("God with us")
Peeps, Trust you are all keeping well. I am good settling well in my crib. Teeth is healed well still get the odd bleed sometimes sha. A big shout out to my home girl MOMMY it was her Birthday yesterday, please drop by to celebrate with her and give her your well wishes. OBIWANNE my Blog Bruv also celebrated on Friday 9th (that boy knows how to enjoy sha).
Gist dey but it is not flowing in my head right now plus I promised some gist on mumulicious guy, I have not forgotten. Anyways for now I will join the Meme club. So here goes my first Meme which I 'borrowed' from Rinsola’s page who borrowed it from FG who borrowed it from I don’t’ know who. I also borrowed it from Aijay's page.
I am...: Blessed and Divinely favoured
My ex-boyfriend was...: I don't do Exes (the term irritates me). If you mean the guy I dated last, he is fine and we are good friends - they all are.
Maybe I should....: Invite my folks over here for Christmas
I love....: To Daydream and Fantasise
I don't understand....: Why people dwell on negative things so much
I lost my....: Lovely Earring (lost one of the pair. got a few like that and can bear to throw away the other pair)
People say I'm...: Funny and Different
Love is....: The Greatest
Somewhere, someone is....: Reading this post and imagining what I look like
I will always...: Find a reason to rejoice and smile
Forever is....: The mercy of God
I never want to...: Die Unfulfilled
I think the current President is....: Yaradua (innit)
When I wake up in the morning, I....: check time, say thank you Lord and snooze some more.
Life is full of...: Parables
My past is incredibly...: Interesting and Rewarding
I get annoyed when...: People don't respond to needs right on their nose.
Parties are for...: Dancing and Good food
I wish...: I could feed every hungry child, if just for a day.
Tomorrow I'm going to...: Clear my room and do some shopping
I really want some....: Amala and Abula with fish right now
I have low tolerance for people who....: Cheat others and are Slimy.
If I had a million dollars...: Get myself a good accountant and Investment manager put them on my payroll full time, a lawyer (part time).
Hope you are all doing great. Happy new month. Thank God for his mercies from January to November.
I had to go to the dentist for what I thought was a follow up appointment on my initial consultation on Monday. I have been procastinating getting braces so I can sort my teeth overcrowding and finally took the plunge last month with an inital conultation. The "follow up appointment" was on Monday.
At this junction it may be worth mentioning that there are some things that don't sit well with 30+; PAIN, NEEDLE, DENTIST are top on list among others.
Like earlier this year, I went to get a jab and the drama that ensued is fresh on my memory. My sister and I were both getting the jab so she had her own first. When it was my turn she come and see action, my sister had warned the nurse that I was scared of needles but she was going to calm me down.
The nurse was not prepared for what happened next. While my sister was holding my hand, looking in my eyes to comfort/distract me, I made a mistake of turning and caught sight of the long pointy thing as she tapped it. Katakata burst...bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah 30+ started to howl, as in hand holding head mashing leg on ground.
It took another 5-10 minutes, a few failed attempts, lots of cajoling and distraction from my sister coupled with speaking in tongues (not out of spirituality but fear) before I was calm enough to get the injection. Suffice to say I left quite an impression on some nurses as well as patients in the waiting area who heard my voice. Thankfully I have not had to go back to the GP again.
Dentist: It is the Zzzzzzzzzzz noise and the pain which always heads straight for your brain. When I had to remove my wisdom tooth, mama 30+ had to come with me(yes I no get shame) even though she was living a bit far, this was a desperate situation and she knew (bless Mums). The dentist too got a free show and even mama 30+ joined me to cry.
She wonders how I will cope with child birth, with the way I am, I assure her she will be on standby with my husband and they will both forgive me for whatever Transpires.
Anways so I was not prepared for Monday, I assumedit was a further consultation since appointment said 15-20mins consultation. Howwas I to know they can remove TWO WHOLE TEETH in 20mins. Maybe because it took longer with the wisodm tooth, then again that was a "complicated procedure"
Imagine MY HORROR when the dentist smiling said
“Ms 30+ , so I will be removing 2 teeth, the left premolar blah....”
"2 Gini" I eyed the door knob far away from me and my jacket in the corner as I made a mental calculation of Hop, Step and Jump out of the chair. Alas he was already towering over me as he touched each tooth about to be dislodged. "Why is he smiling, what is funny in removing someone’s teeth""Mr man if only you knew how close your nose is to the teeth you are about to dislodge and the ease of my teeth latching the very tip of the NOSE you may reconsider the smiling"
"Ohaew" was all I could mutter.
I maintained, started to pray silently and psyche myself up confessing positive things in my head. The calming screen attached to the ceiling was a bit helpful and I was starring hard at it while my hands were gripping the side of the chair almost to point of tearing the leather. I must not cry hear today o, nobody to console me o, I will not cry, I will not cry...
Singing halleluyah, eyes closed so I didn't have to see the needle first aaarrgh....Numbness in the jaw...........then came the ZZzzzzzzzzz.
All that happened next was a BBBllluuurrr as I tried hard to go to my happy place.
About 10-15mins later, two teeths sent to their demise and 105 bucks out of pocket, I managed to maintain my cool, no actual tears just mist and I was feeling sorry for myself. Not sure why, whether it was a) Surviving a needle and dentist ordeal all by myself b) The demise of my teeth or c) My lighter bank account.
Two resolutions for me after that experience 1) One of my kids will be ENCOURAGED VERRYY STRONGLY to be a dentist so we can save ourselves a small fortune on trips to dentists. 2) Let me save that other one 1 for inside stomach.
Thank you Jesus for Princessa's mum, thank you for Catwalq's talent on the Academie, thank you for protecting Lighty's broke arse and helping with her serious thinking, thank you for London Buki's mum because she is getting better everyday, thank you for bringing joy to Carlang, for Ugo's new job, for Bimby's creativity(happy ever after *winks*),for Allied who became a year older, for Aijay and her weird clients, for Isi's Monday tonic, for Nyemoni who has refused to update and all other bloggers, In one word, THANK YOU FOR BLOGVILLE.
Votes are in, and you've voted for a Blog makeover, so I go fishing for a new template, pray I find a better one....
Folks, I have moved into the more permanent abode I refered to in my post Prisoner in my home. After a lot of palavas and going back and forth, I moved in over the last weekend...phew.
IF you hear that I have a housemate it is by my own choice. One thing is sure I will not be getting any dude or babe who is more than 5ft 6inches.
I HAVE NEVER LIVED ON MY OWN, always had a flatmate, siblings, family, friend or someone living with me, hhmn.
At times like this I really pine to have a man, right the bulbs of the house are kind of different and I am thinking who is gonna change that for me. How do I sort getting some of the furntiture bits and such stuff. Don't get me wrong o when push comes to shove 30+ can do anything she sets her mind to but I don't want to.
Dear God send me an angel, not one of those who have wings (nah, no flying in the house), I mean a hunk of brother who will be more than happy to do all those manly stuff, loves me, has good genes (for the babies) but most importantly LOVES YOU.
My Neighbours: They are mostly Old Age Pensioners, how did I find myself in this place. Chai long pointy nose is not just there for show, dem dey nosey. They seem quite nice and I already know the story of most of them. No thanks to Mrs I who voluntarily gave me the low down, I had tea with her yes already, I am having tea with em, small time y'all will hear that I am playing Bingo with them. I have made up my mind to be relevant in my community and spread the love to my neighbours. If I have to sit down hearing stories of their life and 1st world war so be it.
A light hidden is of no use.
Mr M gave me a fright this morning as he knocked on my car window, he apologised profusely for not responding well to my gestures last night (he lives across from me) aw bless his heart, he must have been watching me from the window (talk of free neighbourhood watch).
The area is very quiet and peaceful, I really hope to stay here for a while at least before having to move again.
Kind of getting weary of this pilgrim lifestyle, which way to go God.
Let me put in perspective, in the past two years I have worked in 5 different towns, although it comes with some perks and reward.
Some folks say it is not good for me to be moving so much, especially working in small towns like sosolios and kilimanjaro, "30+ you need to be where the action is (i.e. Jand), so you can settle down quickly".
Okayee why have I not 'settled down' in the donkey years I stayed in Jand, abeg step aside may I no jam you with my moto, duty calls.....
C'est la vie
On a seperate note altogether, can someone please explain their concept of deja vu?!
P.S Princessa abeg carry your '32 pearls' from my dream o, the girl was just gisting away like there is tomorrow and this is me thinking this gal too like gist sha.
Trust God is taking care of you, looked out of my window this morning and saw the clouds, beautiful Van gogh got nothing on that I thought.
Oya Blogvile get voting now should I give my site a makeover, see the polls on the right, just 7 days to go, remember voting is your constitutional right (Although, I have the Veto, ha ha ha)
On gist level, let me share my recent experience involving a friends advice, beans and the consequences.
In the quest to loose weight, I have been watching my diet and resolved to reduce my Carbs as much as possible which means more proteins, vegetables, lentils e.t.c. Chief protein source that I could think of was beans and it's derivatives including akara, moinmoin e.t.c. Spurred on by my resolve, I decided to go all out for BEANS!!!
Well my FRIEND dutifully advises me that I should put the dry skin of the onion in the beans when cooking it, according to her it will help with the after effect of eating too much beans (gas). Call me silly but i believed her, plus I needed all the encouragement of making beans my best friend. I followed instruction to the letter stripping the onion naked, I put all the leaves in the cooking pot and cooked the beans to taste. I patted myself on the back because it seemed I had found the solution to after beans effect, IRO NLA (big lie).
Okay if you are very posh and think a lady should not talk about this things please stop reading now...otherwise I no send o.
Consequences - Come next morning, it was as if all forms of gas were called to congregated to alertness inside my stomach and they were doubling up, as in "lef-right", "lef-right", "nzobu nzobu eh ba eh", without warning artilleries started firing ni sha. To the left, to the right and center in different flavors. Such was the involuntary action bursting out of me (with little resistance from the pectoral muscle). I was left to stew in my own ***. It was compounded by the fact that I became upset that I had believed one of those olf wive's tales, should have known better, what has onion skin got to do with gaseous aftereffects of beans. Talking about componded problem, Hydrgen, Nitrogen, Sulphur and oxygen were all compounding into a complex chemical easing itself out of Moi. The ramshackle onion leaves had done nada.
Y'all could have put a nozzle up in there and get your fill on, for cooking ready one time, no shakin.
The assault lasted till like lunchtime with the help from lots of water drinking and forceful management interventiona.k.a whitehouse visit by force.
There was nothing babed up about me that day meehn.
I did not dare to move unnecessarily from my seat because I was not sure that the evidence was still not hung up in the air following me around.
With no perfume on hand (the one day I needed it most), I just dey solo level while I counted my blessings that the guy that sits beside me is on long term assignment and being Friday a few of the other colleagues were off, the rest were at a safe distance.
It got me thinking about the useless old wives fable we have concorted over the years because come to think of it there is no correlation between onion leaves and beans . I mean where in the name of sardine and geisha do these old wives fables come from listed below are some of the ones I have heard:
If a pregnant woman cooks moinmoin it will never be cooked - Get me some mean pressure cooker and see if it does not cook to overcooking.
Pissing over a dog bite helps to heal wound quickly - Yeah right, is that not adding salt (from the urine) to injury.
Putting your hand out to collect rain water can make you become paralysed(Mum, you could have just told small 30+ to stop playing in the rain)
What's good y'all? I am fine o, just there are a few things I am praying and trying to resolve. It all relates to my pilgrim lifestyle at the moment but I am not going to bore you with the details maybe later when it has all come to pass...as it always does.
This is my 21st post and I am feeling gengencious about it and have decided to celebrate it, you may say I am trying to recapture the past years going by the noise I am making. You are not far from the truth, when I started typing and it hit me that this was my 21st post, suddenly the thought of my 21st birthday filled my mind, my plans e.t.c. It seems like donkey years ago when I celebrated my 21st Birthday, how time flies.
I was still in the University, I remember my mum wanting to make a big fuss and we nearly had a fight because I did not want any fuss. My reason; I was in Nigeria, my siblings were in the UK it just did not feel right to celebrate without them being there.
I also remember that at 21, some long term bloke friend of mine was pinning for me and I knew it not. I wondered why he looked sad in my birthday pictures, later found out he was pained because he did not know how to ask me out and I was messing up his plans to do just that (without knowing it). I on the other hand was also head over heels for the guy.......
At 21, I remember being happy and nervous at the same time. I was happy that to finally be able to call myself 20+, not just 20 to which some will say you have just left teenage years but from then on it was going to be 20 something. I was soon going to leave the University soon to face the WICKED WORLD. I still felt like a child yet everyone was saying I was now a Big girl. I secretly wished to turn back time and get more time to prepare me for this so called Adult life.
Soon I will have to start working and making money, no more allowance from parents. What if I did not get a job? What if I get a job and don't know what to do? Will I have to remember those lectures I had recieved at the Uni ? I prayed seriously hoping not to get a job with any element of PHYSICS (did and still do not like that subject). Anyways my international business will be my main income stream so even if they sack me I will just go into business full time (at least that was what I thought).
Little did I know what that sooner than I thought my life was going to take another direction altogether.....
Some other 21st news -(Surely this can not be true) 33-year-old man in northern Malaysia has married a 104-year-old woman, saying mutual respect and friendship turned to love.It was Muhamad Noor Che Musa's first marriage and his wife's 21st, according to The Star newspaper which cited a report in the Malay-language Harian Metro tabloid. "I am not after her money, as she is poor," Muhamad reportedly said. "Before meeting Wook, I never stayed in one place for long." The report did not say if any of Wook's previous 20 husbands are still alive. http://www.funnystory.cc/article.php?story=20060502091456454
Enough Story.......let the celebration commence....THIS IS MY 21st POST HIP, HIP HURRAY!!!
I was 21 and now I am 30+, truly God is Good, his mercies endure and he is faithful.
All these food just for 21st post celebration 30+ you sure hunger was not another factor for puttin so much food up (lol).
Ok I am sharing the food with Nigeria, since this is her independence anniversary week.
Wuz up, trust you're all good. Got a new flatmate he seems alright he is a "light skinned white guy" (just as we have light skinned Naija's, he is like the colour of milk) and as quiet as a mouse. Although I am still wondering how he sat through my burning food which I left on and slept off. The smoke woke me up and I dashed to the kitchen coughing. Meanwhile my new flatmate sat in the living room adjacent to the kitchen, yet no reaction STRANGE I thought, but it's all good.
I read this writings in The Message and was really blessed (in italics are my own summations), hope it blesses you too
Chapter 53 Who believes what we've heard and seen? Who would have thought God's saving power would look like this?
Despised The servant grew up before God —a scrawny seedling, a scrubby plant in a parched field. There was nothing attractive about him, nothing to cause us to take a second look. He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand. One look at him and people turned away. We looked down on him, thought he was scum.
The Price But the fact is it was our pains he carried — our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us. We thought he brought it on himself, that God was punishing him for his own failures. But it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins! He took the punishment, and that made us whole. Through his bruises we get healed. We're all like sheep that’ve wandered off and gotten lost. We've all done our own thing, gone our own way. And God has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong, on him, on him. He was beaten, he was tortured, but he didn't say a word. Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered and like a sheep being sheared, he took it all in silence.
Justice miscarried, and he was led off— and did anyone really know what was happening? He died without a thought for his own welfare, beaten bloody for the sins of my people. They buried him with the wicked, threw him in a grave with a rich man. Even though he'd never hurt a soul or said one word that wasn't true.
Checkmate Still, it's what God had in mind all along, to crush him with pain. The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he'd see life come from it —life, life, and more life. And God's plan will deeply prosper through him.
Victory and Reward Out of that terrible travail of soul, he'll see that it's worth it and be glad he did it. Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant, will make many "righteous ones," as he himself carries the burden of their sins. Therefore I'll reward him extravagantly — the best of everything, the highest honors —because he looked death in the face and didn't flinch, because he embraced the company of the lowest. He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many; he took up the cause of all the black sheep.
Just thank God for me o, my non English speaking neighbours finally moved out.
For the past 4 weeks or so I have been living like a prisoner in my own flat(technically it ain't mine cos I am renting). Rememember my neighbours the ones trying to make me a compulsory English teacher, well they are a couple and they have been trying my patience especially the boyfriend. To start with my landlord did not inform me that she will take on a couple, one of the reasons I took the flat was that it was just going to be two of us in the cosy flat. Anyways couple moved in and we were okay for a while (they kept their gyzymsifsh coupling stuff to their room, which was fine by me) and I figured they will soon be gone as they were holiday makers.
Then it started, first it was dirty dishes in sink, phunking up the bathroom, visitors pressing bell at odd hours. Then the boyfriend started prancing up and down the flat and overtook the living room sleeping in there (obviously they were having issues).
Now the guy is big, I am talking like 6footer with bouncer like figure (stop imaginig a hunk, cos he is not). Infact I shall therein refer to him as Goliath.
Now I am a tolerant person I don't mind someone prancing around the flat all day and taking over the living room as long as it is
or him
ok if it has to be, get me this brown sugar
Infact my tolerance level can accomodate Morris, Taye, hugh, Denzel all at the same time, I am flexible like that. But nnooooo I have had to endure Goliath prancing around the flat in his wait for it......... BOXERS. I am talking tight boxers which leaves little to imagination. Plus once he is in the living room forget it because (a) the living room is poky (b) Dude is HUGE (c) he leaves a big time whiff trail after him as in even if you have cataarh, you don't have to be Sherlock holmes to figure out where he has entered within the flat.
The other day I walked into the living room and he was lying down legs wide open and needless to say my eye was beholding serious iniquities(I wish I could laugh). Groggy bits were hanging out, eew eew eew.
About 3 weeks ago, the dude opened the door of my room without knocking at 5.30 in the Morning. I just opened my eyes to see this dude at the door of my room and had to scream at him. He just went back like a zombie, I got up, fiddled for my house coat and went after him and guess what Goliath was doing, he was already in the bathroom attending to business ni sha and he opened the door ajar to answer me, imagine such a gross sight early in the morin. The experience was traumatising to say the least.
Apparently he was drunk and was actually going to the bathroom (or so his girlfriend said). I am like okayee......despite the fact that the bathroom was literarily next door to their room and the distance between my room to the bathroom is not a straight nine, it is more like a Triangle.
I had to sleep with suitcases barricading my door to secure it, until they moved out (after the I don't care attitude of the landlord, who kept posting me on coming to put locks on the door). Plus 30+ was creeping around the flat like a thief in order not to rouse the giant.
So Ms 30+ with all your Bluntness why did you just not face him take him on afterall you say you are Bold? Thank you, I knew some smart arse blog reader would ask, to answer your question I will give you some hints in order of seriousness:
1) Goliath no speak good English2) Goliath has selective hearing (either that or the lack of English is more serious than I assume) 3) On a particular occassion the dude was talking angrily with his friend while holding a knife and he looked at me with evil eye as I entered the kitchen (Vivid imagination?! Y'all be the same if you heard the story I heard last year involving 2 friends living together and a knife). 4)You no sabi read - I named the dude Goliath ......And so 5) Duh..I have described myself before as cuteand.... 6) Well my name is not David, neither do I go around with a catapult!!!! I purposely did not blog about it cos when I told my sis, the girl went beserk, raking for me "haven't I heard stories before", "you know he is a holiday maker, what if he does something and ran away", "human rights, civil rights" "insanity" "blah blah" (the girl can blow grammar).
Although she was being concerned, I became more scared after I told her, so I held my peace till it was over lest any Blog comments make me even more Anxious.
I should be moving to somewhere more permanent very soon by GOD's GRACE, till then I am a PILGRIM (literarily).
Trust you are all well, our God is faithful. Thank y'all for your kind comments and concern about head hurts post.
My laptop has gone into coma again o, as I write this I am using a friends computer. Imagine 30+ has not been connected to the cyber for the past 48hours (save 15mins this morning and right now). It is now back with the same folks who collected money from me tlling me it has been repaired. At this rate I'm gonna get a whole blog dedicated to my laptop (God forbid agbana (money guzzler) in my life).
Apart from my technology woes, I have been swamped with work for the past couple of weeks, gist is I have now been given more responsibilities at work which means more work and tthe number of meetings I am being dragged into has doubled. I am developing a coping mechanism but I hope it does not backfire on me. Let me share a recent experience at one the numerous meetings.
It is Wednesday afternoon and we are having the third meeting for the day, anyways this was how the meeting went for 30+. In the ORANGE are my thoughts, in LIGHT GREEN are the actual words spoken, (while in brackets are expressions / actions). YOU HAVE TO CONCENTRATE.
Contractor: ...If we take on board the existing infrastructure...blah blah
30+: (Yawns), oh boy this is my 2nd yawn in the last 5 mins, note to self, I have to ZIGZAG my mouth for the next yawn tis less obvious....
Contractor: (10 mins later) "..So one of the main challenge to taking that approach in our strategy implies that we will have to simulate the build enviroment rather than actual building of the enviroment. This strategy while having it's own risks also presents us with the opportunity of implementing RAD approach in the strategy for server installations on the" .....blah blah
30+: 'Someone better tell this BONSUE guy that 30+ has a pet peeve for the use of meaningless words. Look at his mouth moving and yet he is not making any sense to me'. Oh oops he is looking in my direction, I better nod like I know what the heck he is on about(I nod my head). 'I WILL SWAP HIS RAMBLINGS FOR BABY TALK ANYDAY'. "GOD HOW FAR NOW? I NEED TO START THIS BABY MAKING BUSINESS SOON, AT LEAST AMONG OTHER THINGS I CAN ESCAPE MEETINGS FOR A WHOLE YEAR, 2 YEARS IF I EMIGRATE TO CANADA"....'30+ listen to what your boss is saying....'.
My Boss: "Well I will like a detailed overview of this development before making any decision"
30+: 'Kai she just said detailed and overview, it is either detailed or overview, not both, give me a break woman'. 'Hold on what date is it today hmmn....Wednesday so it's a whole 2 days before Friday, na wa o' "I can do all things through christ who strengthens me" talking of which what did the pastor preach on Sunday....Was it Love or Covenant, need to check when I get home...hmmnn the room has gone quiet...
My Boss: "...30+ did you say something?"
30+: 'Did I say that out loud'?! 'Abi this woman is a witch ni'?! 'Chai egbami....hold on, I did not say it loud' (rolls eyes discreetly) "Well it will be a good idea if he can capture this information and present it on a two pager so we can include it in the end of month pack". 'Look at her mouth, instead of just asking for my comments, did she see my mouth open, agbaya'.
My Boss: "Excellent"
30+: 'Duh did you not get the hint tell this contractor guy to stop yapping and summarise on a report'.(Turns attention to the two other men in the meeting)'Why are this two stooges in the room anyway?' They have not said anything since the meeting started only nodding their head like the father christmas toy I bought in pound land'. 'Well at least this younger one is taking note but what about Mr Red Tie', he looks like a woman' Hhhhhmmmn I wonder if he is a drag queen by night'. 'Yeah I can picture him now dressed like Tina Turner, infact the three of them contractor, stooge 1 & 2 all dressed up as women'(I start smiling).Contractor is smiling at me, eh ya he must be think I am smiling at what he is saying, even my boss dey show smile in my direction....'look at them they don loss'.....'30+ don't laugh o'.....'let me zero back in'
Contractor: ....."If you are both happy (i.e. my boss and I),I will progress with that approach"
30+: (I nod my head like Agama lizard), .....'where was I again...yeah they are all dressed as women and dancing to.....DJ give me some befitting music for the 3 musketeers'....(Song begins in my head)... 'oh oh yahooze', 'oh oh yahooze'.....'everybody enough effizy take am eazzy, it's all about the benjamin baby'......'Contractor should be the lead singer yeah it suits him'.....Bleep 'Why is my boss looking at me? 'Damn she is giving me that expectant look.....oh no she is expecting me to say something'. Damn who spoke last'? 'Chai I am gonna disgrace myself now'? '30+, take a sip of your coffee' (sips coffee nervously). 'God, God, please please help me, sorry I was not listening'. (I squint my eyes a bit as if in deep thinking).
My Boss: What do you think 30+?!
30+: (Deep breath) well (coughs) whatever we decide, as long as we all have the overall goal and Objective at the back of our minds and not loose focus.
Contractor 1 and Boss: (Almost in unison) Absolutely, Definitely we need to be mindful of that! (2 stooges just nod their head in differnt directions)
30+: 'Ope o, another one bites the dust, BUZZ words Goal and Objective it works everytime'... (song in my head again) 'Oh oh yahooze'...'30+ stop that song in your head right now'. 'How far now? why is my boss looking at me again'? 'Was she not you who called meeting abi wetin consign me'. 'I wonder if she is reading my thoughts..... what if she can hear my thoughts telepathically, I don't trust this people, abeg make I zero back in sharpish... (Immediately start to listen carefully).
Contractor: 'We are right now in the process of analysing that particular approach and associated.....'
30+: 'Shuo we are still on approach' since meeting started' 'Sod it where was I?'....'oh oh yahooze' ....STOP...'no more yahooze, that song must leave my head' '....Hmmn talking of BABY TALK.....what if the three of them became babies and then I can put a dummy in their mouth.....I am sure Stooge one will be sucking his thumb anyway....I like this fantasy...much better....I am so gonna blog about this....!
I found the perfect picture below (with my boss now included) and of course in my own fantasy they were not eating lollies but yapping like parrots.
The Enterprise wants to kill me with their work o. It's midnight and 30+ is still working on her Laptop (BTW my comatose Laptop is back and I am £105 out of pocket) with papers everywhere my room is upside down (although the room bit is not unusual) If they had listened to me last week we would have have this over and done with but no they had to do their stupid strategic meeting. Now it all comes boils back to down to 30+ reading endless report and asking questions trying to make sense of what they spent a whole day trying to say. God help me
It is days like this that I feel I am worth all the money to pay and even more, I wanna sleep but can not first thing in the morning this has got to go out. Followed by a big meeting and more review and report writing. I am at wits end when it comes to this meetings. I hope I am not ranting but my goodness how am I suppose to cope when everyone in the room wants to show they went to school using meaningless words over and over again: like "Strategy", "summary level", "Top level", "overview", "brief", "obviously", "definitely", "importantly", "key point", "actually", "to be honest with you" (the last one rubs me the wrong way I am like 'were you being dishonest before').
For goodness sake if you use actually, summary level, brief, top level, strategic and strategyall in the same sentence, is it not obvious you should be fired cos you got no clue on what you talking about.
On a different note all together, I heard that Whitney is now with Ray J (Brandy's little brother), shuo which planet have I been on, I never hear news meehn. First Demi now Whitney do these folks know something I don't. Come to think of it there is no commandment against Toy boy, I wonder what...'yawns'.
Gat's to sleep my body is aching my head is hurting it can't take anymore, hope to wake early and finish 'yawns more'.
Hi Peeps, Hope y'all had a good weekend, mine I am trying to remember what happened hold on a minute....yeah I remember now, not much. Training and Rehearsals on Saturday, church on Sunday, watched films and lazed in. Anyhow I went on facebook this morning because they sent me mail say I get friend request. I opened friend request and was starring at this EYES KONGBA of some guy I don't know from Adam. I am looking at the eyes and thinking okayee is it laced with tiro i.e. as you look at me you will just fall for me, lol (too much yoruba films). And the expression and look of the guy na waya, in short if you jam this guy for night you will just hand over your purse, mobile, PDA etcetera without asking. And the info on his profile reads thus: Networks: Nigeria(30+ says, so that is how he got my profile) Sex: Male Interested In: Women, Men(30+ says, Okayee?! See below) Relationship Status: It's Complicated(30+ says: This another way of saying, ajihun my wife and the 4 kids are in the village, but in lagos I am a single guy and a hustler) Looking For: Whatever I can get(30+ says desperado, anything for money male/female, crooked/straight, fine, no fine, rash infested bum or not as long as money dey, ma kids need to eat)
The guy no even fear e look my profile picture finish and wants to be friends with 'her hotness'(30+ dey pose o, whareva nitori re ni mo se ndege, pose your own).Remedial action: Decamp from Nigeria network one time, I fear all this yahoo yahoo boys cos those guys jazz it up big time, not that 30+ is afraid of Jazz o but mehn I don't need unnecessary binding and loosing.
Ok he may not be yahoo yahoo but it just happened that while others are wonderfully made, he is Fearfully made (no be me talk am sha). I guess that is why I am not Prophet 30+, I would have finished all the oil on all of David's brothers head with nofink left for the lad (this one na bible code talk, only few will understand).
On another note entirely....I got mail so decided to share with you...The Good Husband
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with littlehearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!Love, Jillian"He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?""Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"His son replies, "Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,"Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Broken Coffee Table $239.99, Hot Breakfast $4.20, Two Aspirins $.38, Saying the right thing, at the right time. . PRICELESS
P.S You will not escape next post o, there is this grown arse mumulicious guy jaggering my nerves, infact two of dem. Shalom
Peeps mi, how y'all doing, hope you all had a great weekend.
First drum roll for 30+ as per her debut on Blog Academie, thank you very much, it was not easy but I had to write a very hard common entrance examination (a.k.a hounding madam Catwalq, lol). Class is interestng and it looks like I am already forming with one Jeremy dude (a.k.a teacher's pet or oyinbo boy), I do hope Catwalq is not using style to matchmake me sha (ha ha 30+ meshionu, enuff of matchmaking already). Secondly I have a mild stalker (no cars following me or phone tapping yet) but I have promised to give you a breathing space on my seemingly booming single life and Dufusticous offers (at least for this post and maybe the next).
Anyhow, weekend was one kind for me o, why you asked, well mama 30+ is not in town, she went to see her peeps and no I am not sulking or nofink. Thing is we have been keeping in touch every other day mainly she flashes and I call her back type of keeping in touch. Last friday morning that's how she flashed me again and I called her what did I hear, mama 30+'s mouth making some silent noise shi ishh;
30+: Ki lo nse yin? (what is wrong with you?). Mama 30+: "Wo I ain't going nowhere o, otutu nmu mi (I am feeling cold), right from the inside" 30+: What!!! Otutu ninu tropical country like that. I have told you to come back since, don't even know what you are still doing, lati ojo yi (since all this days). Mama 30+: 30+, leave me alone, mo nlo lie down for a while. 30+: Ok will call back in the evening.
Now I was major upset, as far as I am concerned, she is just like a lamb among wolves with all those blood and money sucking people who call themselves friends and family. I did not call in the evening, I patiently waited till Saturday (so she could rest). I called my mama's phone like 10 times throughout Saturday, sometimes it will ring, sometimes straight to voicemail, ah ah fear was kashing me big time. If anything happens to my mum, I will so strangle every single one of them, personally. Okay I sat in my room shaking leg, kept calling intermittenly still no reply, I texted her nofink. I started thinking irrationally, should I just buy my ticket ki nlo jaba awon people yi ni (go and surprise these peeps) and bundle my mummy on the plane one time. Called my friend and gave her the low down, right there and then we prayed prayed about it, "there will be no problem" she said.
Sunday after church, called her phone like gazillion times, no answer still, I am now really troubled. Are this people trying to cover up something. Why will the phone ring sometimes and next time straight to voice mail, Oluwa please o.
Enters mr 2 horn monster (father of all lies) in my head 2 Horn monster: "You remember the dream you had, where you and your siblings went home and they were asking you that you are now in charge" and remember your mum's friend died 3 years ago..blah blah" 30+: "God please no, she is still young, I want her to see my kids." 2 Horn monster:"You remember what they said in church about the angel of death" 30+: "And so, shebi we prayed, wo for the fact that I have committed her to Baba God, I rebuke any bad report, notin mus hapin to her I am going to sleep". It was only 8pm but I forced myself to sleep.
I woke up midnight, still not feeling happy but I am resolute, my life is in God's hand and I choose not to fret. Come to think of it EVEN if I worry it does not add 1 cubit to my height (I seriously wish it could), so I busied myself scurrying all over Blogville for gist. After a while I called my sister and asked if she has heard from Mummy
Sis: 'No, but I spoke to her on Friday' 30+: 'Since Friday, did she tell you she was not feeling well' Sis: 'Yees and so, she is covered by the blood of Jesus, e wo sis please call me back tomorrow meehn, I am sleeping'
She is sleeping, when she has not heard from mama 30+. My memory flashes back to some years ago when my mum came to wake me middle of the night;
Mama 30+: '30+ are you sleeping' 30+: 'Ooh kilode'?! Mama 30+: 'Sorry but somo pe 18+(my younger bruv) is not back since sha (trying to sound casual).' 30+: 'Ehn...is he not old enough to be a baba bomboy, please live me jo, if you are that worried just pray' and I promptly went back to sleep. Years later, I am now the worry freak, how the tide has Turned,I must be getting old.
Anyways finally this evening (Monday), my phone rang and it was mama 30+, I was so overjoyed.
30+: 'Mummy e so ara yin o (you better be careful), never you do that to me again, how can you call me to say you were not feeling well and then you go AWOL'. Mama 30+: 'I knew you will be worried, sorry my dear, sho mo ko si ina, and mi o le charge phone mi (no electricity to charge my phone), and that generator forget it. In fact phone ore mi ni mo nlo (I am using my friends phone), this country is seriously sick, pelu gbogbo rubbish facility won, 30+ nothing works'. 30+: 'O rubbish naa ni and you are still there, e ya ma gbe eru yin ki e ma bo nisiyin (pack your load and come now), otherwise I am coming over to deport you'. Mama 30+: '(Laughs) Eh sorry o ti binu (you are upset), you know Baba God dey look after me now, I have so much to do, weddings, naming ceremoies Birthdays awon great grandchildren mi (she laughs). Anway o le believe pe mi o ti je (I have not eaten) anything since Friday'. 30+: 'Ope o, that means you have lost weight by force, shebi that is what you wanted'. Mama 30+: 'O serious, call me back jo, credit ti low'. Can't wait for her to come back (i am sure we will be fighting after 5 minutes). Which brings me to this no one can be like a mother, sometimes I get all hung up on becoming a mother, because I have seen what they go through and it's some scary stuff meehn. I don't know how they do it but BOTTOM LINE IS MOTHERS ARE LIKE ROCKS and yes they rock, they are just too much.
You must have heard this song like hundreds of time but still I am dedicating this song to my Mum, infact all our Mums and Mums on Blogville (and not only biological). I also remember London Buki's Mom specially with earnest prayer for quick healing.
And for anyone missing their mum right now whether because of a temporary distance or otherwise, celebrate their memories.
I was going to title this post 'I go wound person o' but changed it after I calmed down.
One of the challenges of being a 30+ female is that people are always trying to hook you up, and hook you up real bad. Most are with good intentions, others it's just to get you to move on (out) so that the young can grow.
Which brings me to the question, what is the right way to matchmake, how can you set up folks so the two individuals don't feel under pressure but rather get a comfortable feeling of forging a friendship that may ultimately lead toI DO.
I find sometimes it is best to avoid this desperate matchmakers but being the amiable person I am, I seem to be an easy target for all sorts of matchmaking. I can understand when it is those mamas, papas, uncles and aunties, but at least your friends should know better.
That is how the other day, I was jejely minding my business reading blogs, working and you know generally being 30+ and my friend calls me leaving two messages:
Message 1 -‘30+ pe mi asap (call me), it is very important, I repeat pe mi o, unfailingly today’.
Message 2 (30mins later) – 30+ ibo lo wa now (where are you), I need you to call me, what do you have mobile phone for if one can not reach you make sure 'pe o pe mi'(that you call me) there is an urgent discussion’.
Listening to message I call her back 'asap' , here goes the conversation:
30+: 'Ore what's up, your message sounded rather urgent, ki lo nsele'
Friend: '30+ ibo lo gba lo? (where did you go?), we were trying to set something up here and I wanted to give you the 411'.
30+::' Really, who is "we" and wetin dey?'
Friend: 'I want you to listen carefully, I know you may frown at this but anyway let me just go straight to the point (short silence) there is this guy...'
30+: Sighs (not again)
Friend: 'Mo ti mo (I knew that would be your reaction), don't sigh, I have not said anything now to make you sigh. As I was saying there is this guy that I will want you to meet, he is my friends uncle no sorry nephew, well I don't remember the relationship, Most important he is a Christian, he is also a nice person sha. He is from etcetera, he is light skinned'
30+: 'I am listening' (Buzzer goes off in my head...kno, 30+ does not dig light skinned and does not want to go to etcetera, too far from my country)
Friend: 'Well ..... he was kind of married before'
30+: 'Which one is kind of ?'
Friend: 'Well he was married but is divorced now
30+: 'He is divorced now?!' (ding...o jebi)
Friend: '.Yea... Well he has a kid, no not one, two kids...ehn sorry I meant two'
30+: 'Ehn Ehn, 2 KIDS' (Buzzer goes into overdrive ....KNO, KNO, KNO, too young to manage that; 3 families (mine, his and hers), 2 step kids, plus my would be 5 kids = high blood pressure)
AND THEN SHE SAID...
Friend: 'He said he is not making any promises o but he will consider'
30+: 'Silence' (Buzzer in my head has just pafuka at this point in time, flipping heck, I am definitely being framed, this must be the joke of the century).
Friend: 'What do you think?'
Y'all must commend 30+ for keeping her cool up till now, she is seriously trying to bridle her tongue, because if she starts let's just say by the time she finishes you will go and change your name with immediate effect.
Friend: '30+ are you still there, what do you think'
30+:'Well I think....HELL NO, he can go and ...(slowly breathe in, breathe out), he can go and hold himself and his foolish consideration'.
Friend: 'Ha ha 30+ it is not like that, and I thought you may not like it o. Don't be upset now.'
30+: 'Upset ke, why will I be upset...abeg I will have to call you back' (I am about to unleash my...count 1 to 100)
Drops the phone muttering under my breath "Upset, upset, upset upset does not even come close to describing what I feel now, let me go and lay my head down before i break something" See my life outside o, 30+ has suffered chai, my eyes have seen for this obodo oyinbo.
I mean even though there seems to be a shortfall of eligible and available bachelors there are still enough single boys/men out there without previous commitments x 3 (ex wife, kid 1, kid 2) and Considerations...
I know what you are thinking right about now, I wonder the situation is with 30+, what does she look like may be she is the niece of the hunchback of notre dame with no possible dream of a prince in shinning BMW (armour na old style).
Okay here goes: 30+ is SINGLE (no kid /ex husband dead or alive), good looking, vivacious, God loving, professional babe. Oprah could pass for my Mumand y'all know kids are finer that their parents (I ain't denying you mama 30+, you are finer than Oprah, just had to help the blog readers). I am not Halle Berry but I could be her sister (na you sabi) except for some stubborn extras here and here that refuse to shift, in fact you can call me a cutie or black beauty and you will not be amiss.
Help a sister out here, am I the only 30+ in the city, abi na by force to be hooked up just because they (my friends) are. I wonder what kind of gist they must have had for the ramshackle guy to utter such statements.
EMI (ME) KONSIDA, shuo who is considering who, it is not your fault.... meeen, nobody must hear this especially Toro and Yemi, they will laugh my arse out of this town. At least I can share it on blogville where I am anonymous
I do wonder sometimes why I get this dufusticous offers, this incident made me to remember the guy I call Danger Mouse, oh boy I still laugh to this day when I remember our date...that story is for another post.
