Peeps mi, what's up? How y'all doing?
Trust you are all well, our God is faithful. Thank y'all for your kind comments and concern about head hurts post.
My laptop has gone into coma again o, as I write this I am using a friends computer. Imagine 30+ has not been connected to the cyber for the past 48hours (save 15mins this morning and right now). It is now back with the same folks who collected money from me tlling me it has been repaired. At this rate I'm gonna get a whole blog dedicated to my laptop (God forbid agbana (money guzzler) in my life).
Apart from my technology woes, I have been swamped with work for the past couple of weeks, gist is I have now been given more responsibilities at work which means more work and tthe number of meetings I am being dragged into has doubled.
I am developing a coping mechanism but I hope it does not backfire on me. Let me share a recent experience at one the numerous meetings.
It is Wednesday afternoon and we are having the third meeting for the day, anyways this was how the meeting went for 30+. In the ORANGE are my thoughts, in LIGHT GREEN are the actual words spoken, (while in brackets are expressions / actions). YOU HAVE TO CONCENTRATE.
Contractor: ...If we take on board the existing infrastructure...blah blah
30+: (Yawns), oh boy this is my 2nd yawn in the last 5 mins, note to self, I have to ZIGZAG my mouth for the next yawn tis less obvious....
Contractor: (10 mins later) "..So one of the main challenge to taking that approach in our strategy implies that we will have to simulate the build enviroment rather than actual building of the enviroment. This strategy while having it's own risks also presents us with the opportunity of implementing RAD approach in the strategy for server installations on the" .....blah blah
30+: 'Someone better tell this BONSUE guy that 30+ has a pet peeve for the use of meaningless words. Look at his mouth moving and yet he is not making any sense to me'. Oh oops he is looking in my direction, I better nod like I know what the heck he is on about (I nod my head). 'I WILL SWAP HIS RAMBLINGS FOR BABY TALK ANYDAY'. "GOD HOW FAR NOW? I NEED TO START THIS BABY MAKING BUSINESS SOON, AT LEAST AMONG OTHER THINGS I CAN ESCAPE MEETINGS FOR A WHOLE YEAR, 2 YEARS IF I EMIGRATE TO CANADA"....'30+ listen to what your boss is saying....'.
My Boss: "Well I will like a detailed overview of this development before making any decision"
30+: 'Kai she just said detailed and overview, it is either detailed or overview, not both, give me a break woman'. 'Hold on what date is it today hmmn....Wednesday so it's a whole 2 days before Friday, na wa o' "I can do all things through christ who strengthens me" talking of which what did the pastor preach on Sunday....Was it Love or Covenant, need to check when I get home...hmmnn the room has gone quiet...
My Boss: "...30+ did you say something?"
30+: 'Did I say that out loud'?! 'Abi this woman is a witch ni'?! 'Chai egbami....hold on, I did not say it loud' (rolls eyes discreetly) "Well it will be a good idea if he can capture this information and present it on a two pager so we can include it in the end of month pack". 'Look at her mouth, instead of just asking for my comments, did she see my mouth open, agbaya'.
My Boss: "Excellent"
30+: 'Duh did you not get the hint tell this contractor guy to stop yapping and summarise on a report'. (Turns attention to the two other men in the meeting) 'Why are this two stooges in the room anyway?' They have not said anything since the meeting started only nodding their head like the father christmas toy I bought in pound land'. 'Well at least this younger one is taking note but what about Mr Red Tie', he looks like a woman' Hhhhhmmmn I wonder if he is a drag queen by night'. 'Yeah I can picture him now dressed like Tina Turner, infact the three of them contractor, stooge 1 & 2 all dressed up as women' (I start smiling). Contractor is smiling at me, eh ya he must be think I am smiling at what he is saying, even my boss dey show smile in my direction....'look at them they don loss'.....'30+ don't laugh o'.....'let me zero back in'
Contractor: ....."If you are both happy (i.e. my boss and I),I will progress with that approach"
30+: (I nod my head like Agama lizard), .....'where was I again...yeah they are all dressed as women and dancing to.....DJ give me some befitting music for the 3 musketeers'....(Song begins in my head)... 'oh oh yahooze', 'oh oh yahooze'.....'everybody enough effizy take am eazzy, it's all about the benjamin baby'......'Contractor should be the lead singer yeah it suits him'.....Bleep 'Why is my boss looking at me? 'Damn she is giving me that expectant look.....oh no she is expecting me to say something'. Damn who spoke last'? 'Chai I am gonna disgrace myself now'? '30+, take a sip of your coffee' (sips coffee nervously). 'God, God, please please help me, sorry I was not listening'. (I squint my eyes a bit as if in deep thinking).
My Boss: What do you think 30+?!
30+: (Deep breath) well (coughs) whatever we decide, as long as we all have the overall goal and Objective at the back of our minds and not loose focus.
Contractor 1 and Boss: (Almost in unison) Absolutely, Definitely we need to be mindful of that! (2 stooges just nod their head in differnt directions)
30+: 'Ope o, another one bites the dust, BUZZ words Goal and Objective it works everytime'... (song in my head again) 'Oh oh yahooze'...'30+ stop that song in your head right now'. 'How far now? why is my boss looking at me again'? 'Was she not you who called meeting abi wetin consign me'. 'I wonder if she is reading my thoughts..... what if she can hear my thoughts telepathically, I don't trust this people, abeg make I zero back in sharpish... (Immediately start to listen carefully).
Contractor: 'We are right now in the process of analysing that particular approach and associated.....'
30+: 'Shuo we are still on approach' since meeting started' 'Sod it where was I?'....'oh oh yahooze' ....STOP...'no more yahooze, that song must leave my head' '....Hmmn talking of BABY TALK.....what if the three of them became babies and then I can put a dummy in their mouth.....I am sure Stooge one will be sucking his thumb anyway....I like this fantasy...much better....I am so gonna blog about this....!
I found the perfect picture below (with my boss now included) and of course in my own fantasy they were not eating lollies but yapping like parrots.
Till laters, keep smiling and holler back