Hi Peeps what's popping
Thank God for the gift of blog, it gives me opportunity to rant when I need to. Thank God for the gift of boredom and time otherwise how else would folks sit down to actually read this.
Mood: Babanla major upset
Reason: Sandra, more bills
Sandra has really outdone herself o, causing major embarrassment for 30+ in the public. To think that I took pity on the her to give her the chance when the previous bloke gave up on her pimping her for peanuts.
BACKGROUNDShe was a bit of gamble considering her state when I met her and the pittance that I was commiting in cash, well I had no long term plans for her. However there was a particular day when we were cruising down, suddenly her shoe hit something and it came apart. Anyhoos I decided to buy her 2 brand new (a replacement and the other for spare). Well the dude fitting the new shoe (s) I bought, called my attention to Sandra's booty, where a brand new tyre complete with jack was hiding (under the carpet). I had earlier told the guy I had no jack nor spare, (he must have thought I was a bird brained woman). Ehm I am too busy with life to be checking under carpet for spare tyre and jack. I don't know why it has to be hidden under a carpet in the first place.Anyways after this incident, realising the underestimation I had for her, a new level of respect developed (hey, a spare and jack demand respect na). Also decided to rock her a bit more than earlier planned at the same time giving myself more time to save for a gengencious upgrade.
Lately I had been harping on the need for an upgrade and made the mistake of discussing this while driving Mz Sandra , it must have touched her nerve or is it suspension. So of course Mz Sandra waited till Friday morning to demo craze for me.
Early in the morin just as I am manoevoring to the reception area to get a temporary security card, the noise came 'Kriunch Krench', muutering "your days are numbered" I pressed gas to continue movement and managed to move 0.00000000001km. Don't even try it, more gas..... VOOOOOOOOM, kno, Sandra was as still as Olumo Rock. Close investigation revealed that driver side tyre had partly disengaged itself from the rest of car. Like the kid who decides to jump when every other kid is sitting still for the class picture - knowing fully well it was only one shot per class.
Wharra mess! right at the T junction in front of my office. "Sandra is it me you decided to advertise with disgrace like this". I was so tempted to dump her arse right there and just walk away but did not want my name to be in the next office newsletter for causing grievous accident to her colleagues by abandoning her vehicle.
Long story short I reluctantly called the mechanic to come and take the idiot to the garage asking casually for an estimate, "will get back to you he said". Kpatakpata (at worst) double digit figures. That is how the poxy guy called me around 5pm as I was coming out of one of those brain freezing meetings that derobes me of my saneness with all the fakeness and grammar blowing.
Garage man: Your car is on the ramp now, I will be fixing the suspension, gear something, ball and socket joint something and it will cost 275 excluding VAT. Note that they are suddenly repairing 3 things.
30+: "So what is the Status, how soon can i get the car and am I getting any discount on that amount?".
Garage man: "Will see what I can do".
Fast forward 1 hour later, as I am packing up to go home, brain is thawing slowly as the affairs/stress of the day begins to lift off my head.30+: "Flipping Heck" I suddenly muttered out loudly, "that winch of a car is costing me how much again?", . "How much did I buy the ramshackle car in the first place?" "Olopa o". I dialled garage frantically "this is sosoliso garage, we are now closed for the day, for emergencies....".
30+: "Dem jazz me how did I agree to pay that" ......BLANK
I can buy another banger with 275 ke.
I miss Mr Scopido, no VAT, no receipts all payment in cash, the guy will do work to suit your pocket/less.
On a normal day (excluding power suit, meetings and brain freeze) I would have done Naija style telling the garage man to tow the car back with heavy Nigerian accent. Instead I was yarning dust and asking for Status of car.
OK Sandra you don win this round, I promised all sundry that no money was going to be spent as I am saving all my love sorry money for Sandra's replacement. However since Sandra has chosen to fight dirty, she has another thing coming. The intention was to do the honourable thing by her as in give her away graciously to someone who will appreciate her but now I am selling her old raggedy arse off. I will use the life out of her but as God is my witness I am selling this sucker off, auction, ebay o, Woreva. Worse still I will take her to a car dealer and use her "ungrateful arse" as the deposit for ma new ride.
Moral of the gist
- No money/deal talk after a meeting especially post 5pm.
- Hell hath no fury like a car scorned especially when she has a lady's name.
OK rant over, the sun has gone down and I have vented my anger.
P.S - Inanimate object can hear word o but they don't read blog so I should be safe from any more of Sandra's embarrassment.