Some shoes must hurt more than the other

Beaurifful People

How you dey yonder, thanking the Great Provider who provides all that we need if not for God where would I be.

I am sitting here balanced with some Boli and Epa the only missing ingredient is a bottle Fanta, Like my mother will say "Fanta ti o se ewon" (i.e. Fanta that has been imprisoned inside freezer).
With my balanced diet on one side and a Nollywood flick on the laptop, I could not help but re visit my post of way back about which is better Waiting for a child or life partner?.

I mean at least when you are single the people on your case are limited to your family, friends and a few gbeboruns. When it comes to waiting for a child the equation is raised to the power of TWO. See the clip below from 5.15.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQscnLQhbDA&feature=channel

Imagine having a mother inlaw come into your house to display that kind of mentalo.
I wanted to dismiss it that it is just a film but read the comments below the clip and realised that something like that has actually happened in real life.
I remember one woman that was giving me gist of some of the things she went through while waiting for a child. On one occassion the mother in law was actually peeping on her while she was having her bath trying to see her naked to see early signs of pregnancy which kind errrant nonsense be dat.

Women are just special people, when I think of all they go through it makes me shudder how they still manage to keep a smile on their face.

While we are still on the shoe wearing thing, what is the best answer that I can give to the next person that asks me why I am Still not married?

I have overused or let's say the following no longer has effect
  • I am still in school - That one went out the window xx years ago.

  • I have not met the right one - Counter argument: there is no right one

  • I have not met a sensible one - Counter argument: Most men only get sensible when they are married..........(schwepps as in somehow I will import sense into him).

  • And I definitely can not say am not ready - The next suggestion is I have a problem.
So the challenge is thrown open "An intelligent gob shutting answer that stops further questioning".

Did I tell you about my experience on the last trip to Naija. Picture this I decided to say hello to an elderly neighbour of mine as we were driving past her house and she decided to ask my marital status across the balcony of her house to the hearing of passers by...just picture it.

I caused it now, deciding to be nice and stopping to greet her. And I only stopped 'cos I remember she has owl eyes and may have see me but pretend only to report to mumsie later. Not that I care abi mama thirty + can not dare to carry cane for me ke 'Tufiakwa'.

It was a combination of just greet her so she does not include you in her list of offenders, plus it's been a while since I saw her so wanted to say hi and ask about her daughter who was an acquintance.

Well before she finished the '5 mins over the balcony conversation' she had with me, I managed to gather that her daughter is married with 2.4 kids, the said daughter will never come to England 'cos she can not stand the place as people over there don't make real progress, and the said daughter is working in Lagos earning x million naira.

Yes o she told me her daughter's 'salary' and NO I did not ask for the information only ask if "Mary Clarence" (her daughter) was okay.

By the way her daugter's 'HUGE SALARY' as she calls it the total sum of ............................ Threes Millions Nairas and zero kobo per annum.

I am sure when the said daughter starts taking home ten million naira she will start a blog to tell the whole world how her daughter came to earn that much.

Moral of the gist, there is a time and place for everything, it is unwise to give unsolicited information over the balcony.

Till later

25 comments:

Sting said...

How about you say, u haven't met anyone that's worthy enough to be with u. Better still u can tell the person asking u that u r waiting on them to find u a husband.

That's just a rude question.

Afrobabe said...

lol @ the woman ...only in naija..

How about you tell them you've turned LESBIAN???

Kémi Penélopê said...

@ Afrobabe...hmmmm! that will give them more reason to talk.

30+, my dear, just tell them that when you finally meet him they will know. I don't know why people don't mind their business and you will be surprise that they have their own issues.

bumight said...

i love the humor in ur posts! threes millions nairas just like that!

yeah, morale of the story: no more indulging iya sofos in over the balcony conversations. word!

Buttercup said...

i wud have made an excuse and left the woman mid-sentence..what nonsense???? mscheeew!

some people's insensitivity just puzzles me..

Mommy said...

Here is a strategy...when asked that sort of question, so as not to get embarrassed, just smile sheepishly...as in really sheepishly oh. Don't say a word. That way, they'll conclude that there's a secret you don't want to let out. People sef! Take care jare! This too shall pass. :)

simeone said...

lol..afrobabe will always add a twist..

i magine that.. i can just imagine her going to give all her daughters figures in church..claiming shez sharing a testimony..naija sha...

30+ jare i can feel ur confidence from all over your blog..remain blessed.

darkelcee said...

i will support mommy..... smile without a response. People can be plain stupid at times.

that woman hmmmm she can try that with me.

i will embarass her for real

darkelcee said...

i will support mommy..... smile without a response. People can be plain stupid at times.

that woman hmmmm she can try that with me.

i will embarass her for real

Rita said...

I dont know where to start from...my elder sister actually got a man to beat his wife for such behaviour.

My dear, let them not go and focus on their own issues...Your turn will surely come...

Chibuchi said...

Talking is just long.

I just walk away. It's easier that way..

lol@ 3s million naira.

mizchif said...

My naija ppl and their tactlessness!

Only in Nigeria! Like Bumight said, moral of the story: Thou shall not engage in over the balcony conversations!

THIRTY + said...

@Sting, I dont think folks know that it's rude.

@Afrobabe, let's just say one time I said that, it backfired....long story.

@Kemi Penelope, the whole point of gbeboruns is usually to escape their own issues.

@Bumight, I do try with the humour abi.

@Burracup, yep that woman is totally oblivious to anything or anyone but herself hence the insensitivity.

@Mommy, hmmmm I am loving that advice, infact it is top of the options right now.

@Simeone, Thanks dear how you doing?

@Darkelcee, that is what I would have said, but it was on a Sunday I was feeling very calm and she is an OLD WOMAN. Sure you would have meshionu just like I did.

@Rita, Confuscus...who beat who for what.

@Chibuchi, Ok that is another strategy, just walk.

@Sting, that is Naija for you o

Good Naija Girl said...

I hope you're doing well, dear 30+. You have to just marvel at the tactlessness of some Nigerians. I did before my trip last year, where I was dreading hearing questions about why I'm not married and why I'm so fat.

I know I will start hearing both questions more and more as I get older and I think my reply henceforth will be to smile and not say a word for a moment, then look at them and exchange a pleasantry, like ask how their kids are doing or something. Or I may just say I have to go and take my leave.

You did good.

isha said...

you know what? just make people think that there's something you're hiding from them. say suggestive things, etc. Next thing you know, they'll disappear cos they know you're coming to tell them something real soon. lol.

Enkay said...

But where do people get off asking such questions and tactlessly too?

As if I don't have enough on my plate already, you want to come and add your own?

All man to his tent abeg!

Writefreak said...

We get aproko for this country no be small!
I'd just have told the woman i had to go! I wish i could find a good answer for you, will think about it...!

Writefreak said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
THIRTY + said...

@GnG, that strategy seems a good idea. At least they would not be able to hold you any words in particular.

@Isha, that is another good strategy which I have used a few times even though they just make noise that I should not spend all my life courting (cos they think I am actually courting but hiding it).

@Enkay, you know each to is own innit, how you dey.

@Writefreak, Aproko means bush person abi?!

Writefreak said...

Nope...it means nosy! lol

Shubby Doo said...

everybody is in everybody's buisness in nigeria...i have to enter a completely new mindset to accept it for what it is and not throw out abuse just to get along while i'm there

marriage will be yours...God's time is best

rethots said...

...funny as it may seem, i did not see the 'acts' of the mother-in-law rather; i saw the affection of a husband. Pray tell, is that(affection)not what 'we' all desire in marriage.

NO, NO, NO, hurtful as it may be when people 'castigate' one's marital status (or in other situations), 'tis our reacting (or responding) to what they say that hurts more.

rethots said...

hmmm, short of which, comment is based on just that (particular) clips alone. Now, if the man can sustain that attitude to the end is a different matter.

Tairebabs said...

wow that clip was something else. I am glad the husband reacted this way. Ironically, I know a lovely lady in canada who is living thru such horror after 11 years of marriage. Her husband has been her rock.I really don't have a good response for that annoying question.

Pixgremlin Aworan said...

It's been like forever, since I've been here. Ma binu, aunty mi.

Boli & epa?!? Oh, the memories. And yes, I can definitely picture the scene when 'Owl Woman' waxes lyrical about her daughter. Don't mind her, jaare.

Remain blessed. :-)