Hi Peeps,
Sorry can't post much right now work overload.
The Enterprise wants to kill me with their work o. It's midnight and 30+ is still working on her Laptop (BTW my comatose Laptop is back and I am £105 out of pocket) with papers everywhere my room is upside down (although the room bit is not unusual)
If they had listened to me last week we would have have this over and done with but no they had to do their stupid strategic meeting. Now it all comes boils back to down to 30+ reading endless report and asking questions trying to make sense of what they spent a whole day trying to say. God help me
It is days like this that I feel I am worth all the money to pay and even more, I wanna sleep but can not first thing in the morning this has got to go out. Followed by a big meeting and more review and report writing. I am at wits end when it comes to this meetings. I hope I am not ranting but my goodness how am I suppose to cope when everyone in the room wants to show they went to school using meaningless words over and over again: like "Strategy", "summary level", "Top level", "overview", "brief", "obviously", "definitely", "importantly", "key point", "actually", "to be honest with you" (the last one rubs me the wrong way I am like 'were you being dishonest before').
For goodness sake if you use actually, summary level, brief, top level, strategic and strategy all in the same sentence, is it not obvious you should be fired cos you got no clue on what you talking about.
On a different note all together, I heard that Whitney is now with Ray J (Brandy's little brother), shuo which planet have I been on, I never hear news meehn. First Demi now Whitney do these folks know something I don't. Come to think of it there is no commandment against Toy boy, I wonder what...'yawns'.
Gat's to sleep my body is aching my head is hurting it can't take anymore, hope to wake early and finish 'yawns more'.
Shalom
The Good husband
Hi Peeps,
Hope y'all had a good weekend, mine I am trying to remember what happened hold on a minute....yeah I remember now, not much. Training and Rehearsals on Saturday, church on Sunday, watched films and lazed in.
Anyhow I went on facebook this morning because they sent me mail say I get friend request. I opened friend request and was starring at this EYES KONGBA of some guy I don't know from Adam. I am looking at the eyes and thinking okayee is it laced with tiro i.e. as you look at me you will just fall for me, lol (too much yoruba films). And the expression and look of the guy na waya, in short if you jam this guy for night you will just hand over your purse, mobile, PDA etcetera without asking. And the info on his profile reads thus:
Networks: Nigeria (30+ says, so that is how he got my profile)
Sex: Male
Interested In: Women, Men (30+ says, Okayee?! See below)
Relationship Status: It's Complicated (30+ says: This another way of saying, ajihun my wife and the 4 kids are in the village, but in lagos I am a single guy and a hustler)
Looking For: Whatever I can get (30+ says desperado, anything for money male/female, crooked/straight, fine, no fine, rash infested bum or not as long as money dey, ma kids need to eat)
The guy no even fear e look my profile picture finish and wants to be friends with 'her hotness' (30+ dey pose o, whareva nitori re ni mo se ndege, pose your own). Remedial action: Decamp from Nigeria network one time, I fear all this yahoo yahoo boys cos those guys jazz it up big time, not that 30+ is afraid of Jazz o but mehn I don't need unnecessary binding and loosing.
Ok he may not be yahoo yahoo but it just happened that while others are wonderfully made, he is Fearfully made (no be me talk am sha). I guess that is why I am not Prophet 30+, I would have finished all the oil on all of David's brothers head with nofink left for the lad (this one na bible code talk, only few will understand).
On another note entirely....I got mail so decided to share with you... The Good Husband
You will not escape next post o, there is this grown arse mumulicious guy jaggering my nerves, infact two of dem.
Shalom
Hope y'all had a good weekend, mine I am trying to remember what happened hold on a minute....yeah I remember now, not much. Training and Rehearsals on Saturday, church on Sunday, watched films and lazed in.
Anyhow I went on facebook this morning because they sent me mail say I get friend request. I opened friend request and was starring at this EYES KONGBA of some guy I don't know from Adam. I am looking at the eyes and thinking okayee is it laced with tiro i.e. as you look at me you will just fall for me, lol (too much yoruba films). And the expression and look of the guy na waya, in short if you jam this guy for night you will just hand over your purse, mobile, PDA etcetera without asking. And the info on his profile reads thus:
Networks: Nigeria (30+ says, so that is how he got my profile)
Sex: Male
Interested In: Women, Men (30+ says, Okayee?! See below)
Relationship Status: It's Complicated (30+ says: This another way of saying, ajihun my wife and the 4 kids are in the village, but in lagos I am a single guy and a hustler)
Looking For: Whatever I can get (30+ says desperado, anything for money male/female, crooked/straight, fine, no fine, rash infested bum or not as long as money dey, ma kids need to eat)
The guy no even fear e look my profile picture finish and wants to be friends with 'her hotness' (30+ dey pose o, whareva nitori re ni mo se ndege, pose your own). Remedial action: Decamp from Nigeria network one time, I fear all this yahoo yahoo boys cos those guys jazz it up big time, not that 30+ is afraid of Jazz o but mehn I don't need unnecessary binding and loosing.
Ok he may not be yahoo yahoo but it just happened that while others are wonderfully made, he is Fearfully made (no be me talk am sha). I guess that is why I am not Prophet 30+, I would have finished all the oil on all of David's brothers head with nofink left for the lad (this one na bible code talk, only few will understand).
On another note entirely....I got mail so decided to share with you... The Good Husband
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with littlehearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!Love, Jillian"He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?""Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"His son replies, "Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,"Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Broken Coffee Table $239.99, Hot Breakfast $4.20, Two Aspirins $.38, Saying the right thing, at the right time. . PRICELESS
P.SYou will not escape next post o, there is this grown arse mumulicious guy jaggering my nerves, infact two of dem.
Shalom
Finally she called...
Peeps mi, how y'all doing, hope you all had a great weekend.
First drum roll for 30+ as per her debut on Blog Academie, thank you very much, it was not easy but I had to write a very hard common entrance examination (a.k.a hounding madam Catwalq, lol).
Class is interestng and it looks like I am already forming with one Jeremy dude (a.k.a teacher's pet or oyinbo boy), I do hope Catwalq is not using style to matchmake me sha (ha ha 30+ meshionu, enuff of matchmaking already).
Secondly I have a mild stalker (no cars following me or phone tapping yet) but I have promised to give you a breathing space on my seemingly booming single life and Dufusticous offers (at least for this post and maybe the next).
Anyhow, weekend was one kind for me o, why you asked, well mama 30+ is not in town, she went to see her peeps and no I am not sulking or nofink. Thing is we have been keeping in touch every other day mainly she flashes and I call her back type of keeping in touch. Last friday morning that's how she flashed me again and I called her what did I hear, mama 30+'s mouth making some silent noise shi ishh;
30+: Ki lo nse yin? (what is wrong with you?).
Mama 30+: "Wo I ain't going nowhere o, otutu nmu mi (I am feeling cold), right from the inside" 30+: What!!! Otutu ninu tropical country like that. I have told you to come back since, don't even know what you are still doing, lati ojo yi (since all this days).
Mama 30+: 30+, leave me alone, mo nlo lie down for a while.
30+: Ok will call back in the evening.
Now I was major upset, as far as I am concerned, she is just like a lamb among wolves with all those blood and money sucking people who call themselves friends and family.
I did not call in the evening, I patiently waited till Saturday (so she could rest). I called my mama's phone like 10 times throughout Saturday, sometimes it will ring, sometimes straight to voicemail, ah ah fear was kashing me big time. If anything happens to my mum, I will so strangle every single one of them, personally. Okay I sat in my room shaking leg, kept calling intermittenly still no reply, I texted her nofink. I started thinking irrationally, should I just buy my ticket ki nlo jaba awon people yi ni (go and surprise these peeps) and bundle my mummy on the plane one time. Called my friend and gave her the low down, right there and then we prayed prayed about it, "there will be no problem" she said.
Sunday after church, called her phone like gazillion times, no answer still, I am now really troubled. Are this people trying to cover up something. Why will the phone ring sometimes and next time straight to voice mail, Oluwa please o.
Enters mr 2 horn monster (father of all lies) in my head
2 Horn monster: "You remember the dream you had, where you and your siblings went home and they were asking you that you are now in charge" and remember your mum's friend died 3 years ago..blah blah"
30+: "God please no, she is still young, I want her to see my kids."
2 Horn monster:"You remember what they said in church about the angel of death"
30+: "And so, shebi we prayed, wo for the fact that I have committed her to Baba God, I rebuke any bad report, notin mus hapin to her I am going to sleep". It was only 8pm but I forced myself to sleep.
I woke up midnight, still not feeling happy but I am resolute, my life is in God's hand and I choose not to fret. Come to think of it EVEN if I worry it does not add 1 cubit to my height (I seriously wish it could), so I busied myself scurrying all over Blogville for gist. After a while I called my sister and asked if she has heard from Mummy
Sis: 'No, but I spoke to her on Friday'
30+: 'Since Friday, did she tell you she was not feeling well'
Sis: 'Yees and so, she is covered by the blood of Jesus, e wo sis please call me back tomorrow meehn, I am sleeping'
She is sleeping, when she has not heard from mama 30+. My memory flashes back to some years ago when my mum came to wake me middle of the night;
Mama 30+: '30+ are you sleeping'
30+: 'Ooh kilode'?!
Mama 30+: 'Sorry but somo pe 18+(my younger bruv) is not back since sha (trying to sound casual).'
30+: 'Ehn...is he not old enough to be a baba bomboy, please live me jo, if you are that worried just pray' and I promptly went back to sleep.
Years later, I am now the worry freak, how the tide has Turned, I must be getting old.
Anyways finally this evening (Monday), my phone rang and it was mama 30+, I was so overjoyed.
30+: 'Mummy e so ara yin o (you better be careful), never you do that to me again, how can you call me to say you were not feeling well and then you go AWOL'.
Mama 30+: 'I knew you will be worried, sorry my dear, sho mo ko si ina, and mi o le charge phone mi (no electricity to charge my phone), and that generator forget it. In fact phone ore mi ni mo nlo (I am using my friends phone), this country is seriously sick, pelu gbogbo rubbish facility won, 30+ nothing works'.
30+: 'O rubbish naa ni and you are still there, e ya ma gbe eru yin ki e ma bo nisiyin (pack your load and come now), otherwise I am coming over to deport you'.
Mama 30+: '(Laughs) Eh sorry o ti binu (you are upset), you know Baba God dey look after me now, I have so much to do, weddings, naming ceremoies Birthdays awon great grandchildren mi (she laughs). Anway o le believe pe mi o ti je (I have not eaten) anything since Friday'.
30+: 'Ope o, that means you have lost weight by force, shebi that is what you wanted'.
Mama 30+: 'O serious, call me back jo, credit ti low'.
Can't wait for her to come back (i am sure we will be fighting after 5 minutes). Which brings me to this no one can be like a mother, sometimes I get all hung up on becoming a mother, because I have seen what they go through and it's some scary stuff meehn. I don't know how they do it but BOTTOM LINE IS MOTHERS ARE LIKE ROCKS and yes they rock, they are just too much.
You must have heard this song like hundreds of time but still I am dedicating this song to my Mum, infact all our Mums and Mums on Blogville (and not only biological). I also remember London Buki's Mom specially with earnest prayer for quick healing.
And for anyone missing their mum right now whether because of a temporary distance or otherwise, celebrate their memories.
Shalom
First drum roll for 30+ as per her debut on Blog Academie, thank you very much, it was not easy but I had to write a very hard common entrance examination (a.k.a hounding madam Catwalq, lol).
Class is interestng and it looks like I am already forming with one Jeremy dude (a.k.a teacher's pet or oyinbo boy), I do hope Catwalq is not using style to matchmake me sha (ha ha 30+ meshionu, enuff of matchmaking already).
Secondly I have a mild stalker (no cars following me or phone tapping yet) but I have promised to give you a breathing space on my seemingly booming single life and Dufusticous offers (at least for this post and maybe the next).
Anyhow, weekend was one kind for me o, why you asked, well mama 30+ is not in town, she went to see her peeps and no I am not sulking or nofink. Thing is we have been keeping in touch every other day mainly she flashes and I call her back type of keeping in touch. Last friday morning that's how she flashed me again and I called her what did I hear, mama 30+'s mouth making some silent noise shi ishh;
30+: Ki lo nse yin? (what is wrong with you?).
Mama 30+: "Wo I ain't going nowhere o, otutu nmu mi (I am feeling cold), right from the inside" 30+: What!!! Otutu ninu tropical country like that. I have told you to come back since, don't even know what you are still doing, lati ojo yi (since all this days).
Mama 30+: 30+, leave me alone, mo nlo lie down for a while.
30+: Ok will call back in the evening.
Now I was major upset, as far as I am concerned, she is just like a lamb among wolves with all those blood and money sucking people who call themselves friends and family.
I did not call in the evening, I patiently waited till Saturday (so she could rest). I called my mama's phone like 10 times throughout Saturday, sometimes it will ring, sometimes straight to voicemail, ah ah fear was kashing me big time. If anything happens to my mum, I will so strangle every single one of them, personally. Okay I sat in my room shaking leg, kept calling intermittenly still no reply, I texted her nofink. I started thinking irrationally, should I just buy my ticket ki nlo jaba awon people yi ni (go and surprise these peeps) and bundle my mummy on the plane one time. Called my friend and gave her the low down, right there and then we prayed prayed about it, "there will be no problem" she said.
Sunday after church, called her phone like gazillion times, no answer still, I am now really troubled. Are this people trying to cover up something. Why will the phone ring sometimes and next time straight to voice mail, Oluwa please o.
Enters mr 2 horn monster (father of all lies) in my head
2 Horn monster: "You remember the dream you had, where you and your siblings went home and they were asking you that you are now in charge" and remember your mum's friend died 3 years ago..blah blah"
30+: "God please no, she is still young, I want her to see my kids."
2 Horn monster:"You remember what they said in church about the angel of death"
30+: "And so, shebi we prayed, wo for the fact that I have committed her to Baba God, I rebuke any bad report, notin mus hapin to her I am going to sleep". It was only 8pm but I forced myself to sleep.
I woke up midnight, still not feeling happy but I am resolute, my life is in God's hand and I choose not to fret. Come to think of it EVEN if I worry it does not add 1 cubit to my height (I seriously wish it could), so I busied myself scurrying all over Blogville for gist. After a while I called my sister and asked if she has heard from Mummy
Sis: 'No, but I spoke to her on Friday'
30+: 'Since Friday, did she tell you she was not feeling well'
Sis: 'Yees and so, she is covered by the blood of Jesus, e wo sis please call me back tomorrow meehn, I am sleeping'
She is sleeping, when she has not heard from mama 30+. My memory flashes back to some years ago when my mum came to wake me middle of the night;
Mama 30+: '30+ are you sleeping'
30+: 'Ooh kilode'?!
Mama 30+: 'Sorry but somo pe 18+(my younger bruv) is not back since sha (trying to sound casual).'
30+: 'Ehn...is he not old enough to be a baba bomboy, please live me jo, if you are that worried just pray' and I promptly went back to sleep.
Years later, I am now the worry freak, how the tide has Turned, I must be getting old.
Anyways finally this evening (Monday), my phone rang and it was mama 30+, I was so overjoyed.
30+: 'Mummy e so ara yin o (you better be careful), never you do that to me again, how can you call me to say you were not feeling well and then you go AWOL'.
Mama 30+: 'I knew you will be worried, sorry my dear, sho mo ko si ina, and mi o le charge phone mi (no electricity to charge my phone), and that generator forget it. In fact phone ore mi ni mo nlo (I am using my friends phone), this country is seriously sick, pelu gbogbo rubbish facility won, 30+ nothing works'.
30+: 'O rubbish naa ni and you are still there, e ya ma gbe eru yin ki e ma bo nisiyin (pack your load and come now), otherwise I am coming over to deport you'.
Mama 30+: '(Laughs) Eh sorry o ti binu (you are upset), you know Baba God dey look after me now, I have so much to do, weddings, naming ceremoies Birthdays awon great grandchildren mi (she laughs). Anway o le believe pe mi o ti je (I have not eaten) anything since Friday'.
30+: 'Ope o, that means you have lost weight by force, shebi that is what you wanted'.
Mama 30+: 'O serious, call me back jo, credit ti low'.
Can't wait for her to come back (i am sure we will be fighting after 5 minutes). Which brings me to this no one can be like a mother, sometimes I get all hung up on becoming a mother, because I have seen what they go through and it's some scary stuff meehn. I don't know how they do it but BOTTOM LINE IS MOTHERS ARE LIKE ROCKS and yes they rock, they are just too much.
You must have heard this song like hundreds of time but still I am dedicating this song to my Mum, infact all our Mums and Mums on Blogville (and not only biological). I also remember London Buki's Mom specially with earnest prayer for quick healing.
And for anyone missing their mum right now whether because of a temporary distance or otherwise, celebrate their memories.
Shalom
Matchmaking Palava
I was going to title this post 'I go wound person o' but changed it after I calmed down.
One of the challenges of being a 30+ female is that people are always trying to hook you up, and hook you up real bad. Most are with good intentions, others it's just to get you to move on (out) so that the young can grow.
Which brings me to the question, what is the right way to matchmake, how can you set up folks so the two individuals don't feel under pressure but rather get a comfortable feeling of forging a friendship that may ultimately lead to I DO.
I find sometimes it is best to avoid this desperate matchmakers but being the amiable person I am, I seem to be an easy target for all sorts of matchmaking. I can understand when it is those mamas, papas, uncles and aunties, but at least your friends should know better.
That is how the other day, I was jejely minding my business reading blogs, working and you know generally being 30+ and my friend calls me leaving two messages:
Message 1 -‘30+ pe mi asap (call me), it is very important, I repeat pe mi o, unfailingly today’.
Message 2 (30mins later) – 30+ ibo lo wa now (where are you), I need you to call me, what do you have mobile phone for if one can not reach you make sure 'pe o pe mi'(that you call me) there is an urgent discussion’.
Listening to message I call her back 'asap' , here goes the conversation:
30+: 'Ore what's up, your message sounded rather urgent, ki lo nsele'
Friend: '30+ ibo lo gba lo? (where did you go?), we were trying to set something up here and I wanted to give you the 411'.
30+::' Really, who is "we" and wetin dey?'
Friend: 'I want you to listen carefully, I know you may frown at this but anyway let me just go straight to the point (short silence) there is this guy...'
30+: Sighs (not again)
Friend: 'Mo ti mo (I knew that would be your reaction), don't sigh, I have not said anything now to make you sigh. As I was saying there is this guy that I will want you to meet, he is my friends uncle no sorry nephew, well I don't remember the relationship, Most important he is a Christian, he is also a nice person sha. He is from etcetera, he is light skinned'
30+: 'I am listening' (Buzzer goes off in my head...kno, 30+ does not dig light skinned and does not want to go to etcetera, too far from my country)
Friend: 'Well ..... he was kind of married before'
30+: 'Which one is kind of ?'
Friend: 'Well he was married but is divorced now
30+: 'He is divorced now?!' (ding...o jebi)
Friend: '.Yea... Well he has a kid, no not one, two kids...ehn sorry I meant two'
30+: 'Ehn Ehn, 2 KIDS' (Buzzer goes into overdrive ....KNO, KNO, KNO, too young to manage that; 3 families (mine, his and hers), 2 step kids, plus my would be 5 kids = high blood pressure)
AND THEN SHE SAID...
Friend: 'He said he is not making any promises o but he will consider'
30+: 'Silence' (Buzzer in my head has just pafuka at this point in time, flipping heck, I am definitely being framed, this must be the joke of the century).
Friend: 'What do you think?'
Y'all must commend 30+ for keeping her cool up till now, she is seriously trying to bridle her tongue, because if she starts let's just say by the time she finishes you will go and change your name with immediate effect.
Friend: '30+ are you still there, what do you think'
30+:'Well I think....HELL NO, he can go and ...(slowly breathe in, breathe out), he can go and hold himself and his foolish consideration'.
Friend: 'Ha ha 30+ it is not like that, and I thought you may not like it o. Don't be upset now.'
30+: 'Upset ke, why will I be upset...abeg I will have to call you back' (I am about to unleash my...count 1 to 100)
Drops the phone muttering under my breath "Upset, upset, upset upset does not even come close to describing what I feel now, let me go and lay my head down before i break something"
See my life outside o, 30+ has suffered chai, my eyes have seen for this obodo oyinbo.
I mean even though there seems to be a shortfall of eligible and available bachelors there are still enough single boys/men out there without previous commitments x 3 (ex wife, kid 1, kid 2) and Considerations...
I know what you are thinking right about now, I wonder the situation is with 30+, what does she look like may be she is the niece of the hunchback of notre dame with no possible dream of a prince in shinning BMW (armour na old style).
Okay here goes: 30+ is SINGLE (no kid /ex husband dead or alive), good looking, vivacious, God loving, professional babe. Oprah could pass for my Mum and y'all know kids are finer that their parents (I ain't denying you mama 30+, you are finer than Oprah, just had to help the blog readers). I am not Halle Berry but I could be her sister (na you sabi) except for some stubborn extras here and here that refuse to shift, in fact you can call me a cutie or black beauty and you will not be amiss.
Help a sister out here, am I the only 30+ in the city, abi na by force to be hooked up just because they (my friends) are. I wonder what kind of gist they must have had for the ramshackle guy to utter such statements.
EMI (ME) KONSIDA, shuo who is considering who, it is not your fault.... meeen, nobody must hear this especially Toro and Yemi, they will laugh my arse out of this town. At least I can share it on blogville where I am anonymous
I do wonder sometimes why I get this dufusticous offers, this incident made me to remember the guy I call Danger Mouse, oh boy I still laugh to this day when I remember our date...that story is for another post.
Till later Shalom
One of the challenges of being a 30+ female is that people are always trying to hook you up, and hook you up real bad. Most are with good intentions, others it's just to get you to move on (out) so that the young can grow.
Which brings me to the question, what is the right way to matchmake, how can you set up folks so the two individuals don't feel under pressure but rather get a comfortable feeling of forging a friendship that may ultimately lead to I DO.
I find sometimes it is best to avoid this desperate matchmakers but being the amiable person I am, I seem to be an easy target for all sorts of matchmaking. I can understand when it is those mamas, papas, uncles and aunties, but at least your friends should know better.
That is how the other day, I was jejely minding my business reading blogs, working and you know generally being 30+ and my friend calls me leaving two messages:
Message 1 -‘30+ pe mi asap (call me), it is very important, I repeat pe mi o, unfailingly today’.
Message 2 (30mins later) – 30+ ibo lo wa now (where are you), I need you to call me, what do you have mobile phone for if one can not reach you make sure 'pe o pe mi'(that you call me) there is an urgent discussion’.
Listening to message I call her back 'asap' , here goes the conversation:
30+: 'Ore what's up, your message sounded rather urgent, ki lo nsele'
Friend: '30+ ibo lo gba lo? (where did you go?), we were trying to set something up here and I wanted to give you the 411'.
30+::' Really, who is "we" and wetin dey?'
Friend: 'I want you to listen carefully, I know you may frown at this but anyway let me just go straight to the point (short silence) there is this guy...'
30+: Sighs (not again)
Friend: 'Mo ti mo (I knew that would be your reaction), don't sigh, I have not said anything now to make you sigh. As I was saying there is this guy that I will want you to meet, he is my friends uncle no sorry nephew, well I don't remember the relationship, Most important he is a Christian, he is also a nice person sha. He is from etcetera, he is light skinned'
30+: 'I am listening' (Buzzer goes off in my head...kno, 30+ does not dig light skinned and does not want to go to etcetera, too far from my country)
Friend: 'Well ..... he was kind of married before'
30+: 'Which one is kind of ?'
Friend: 'Well he was married but is divorced now
30+: 'He is divorced now?!' (ding...o jebi)
Friend: '.Yea... Well he has a kid, no not one, two kids...ehn sorry I meant two'
30+: 'Ehn Ehn, 2 KIDS' (Buzzer goes into overdrive ....KNO, KNO, KNO, too young to manage that; 3 families (mine, his and hers), 2 step kids, plus my would be 5 kids = high blood pressure)
AND THEN SHE SAID...
Friend: 'He said he is not making any promises o but he will consider'
30+: 'Silence' (Buzzer in my head has just pafuka at this point in time, flipping heck, I am definitely being framed, this must be the joke of the century).
Friend: 'What do you think?'
Y'all must commend 30+ for keeping her cool up till now, she is seriously trying to bridle her tongue, because if she starts let's just say by the time she finishes you will go and change your name with immediate effect.
Friend: '30+ are you still there, what do you think'
30+:'Well I think....HELL NO, he can go and ...(slowly breathe in, breathe out), he can go and hold himself and his foolish consideration'.
Friend: 'Ha ha 30+ it is not like that, and I thought you may not like it o. Don't be upset now.'
30+: 'Upset ke, why will I be upset...abeg I will have to call you back' (I am about to unleash my...count 1 to 100)
Drops the phone muttering under my breath "Upset, upset, upset upset does not even come close to describing what I feel now, let me go and lay my head down before i break something"
See my life outside o, 30+ has suffered chai, my eyes have seen for this obodo oyinbo.
I mean even though there seems to be a shortfall of eligible and available bachelors there are still enough single boys/men out there without previous commitments x 3 (ex wife, kid 1, kid 2) and Considerations...
I know what you are thinking right about now, I wonder the situation is with 30+, what does she look like may be she is the niece of the hunchback of notre dame with no possible dream of a prince in shinning BMW (armour na old style).
Okay here goes: 30+ is SINGLE (no kid /ex husband dead or alive), good looking, vivacious, God loving, professional babe. Oprah could pass for my Mum and y'all know kids are finer that their parents (I ain't denying you mama 30+, you are finer than Oprah, just had to help the blog readers). I am not Halle Berry but I could be her sister (na you sabi) except for some stubborn extras here and here that refuse to shift, in fact you can call me a cutie or black beauty and you will not be amiss.
Help a sister out here, am I the only 30+ in the city, abi na by force to be hooked up just because they (my friends) are. I wonder what kind of gist they must have had for the ramshackle guy to utter such statements.
EMI (ME) KONSIDA, shuo who is considering who, it is not your fault.... meeen, nobody must hear this especially Toro and Yemi, they will laugh my arse out of this town. At least I can share it on blogville where I am anonymous
I do wonder sometimes why I get this dufusticous offers, this incident made me to remember the guy I call Danger Mouse, oh boy I still laugh to this day when I remember our date...that story is for another post.
Till later Shalom
I got mail
I got this in my in box, it blessed my heart and I identified so much with it especially the bit about SCARS. Every woman (and man) has one scar or the other from the different battles of life.
Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida , a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.
His father working in the yard saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could. Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.
Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his father's fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he loved.
The newspaper reporter, who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn't let go."
You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator,but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to you.
The Scripture teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way but sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril - and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That's when the tug-of-war begins - and if you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful. He did not and will not ever let you go.
Never judge another persons scar, because you don't know how they got them. Also, it is so important that we are not selfish, to receive the blessings of these messages, without forwarding them to someone else.Right now, someone needs to know that God loves them, and you love them, too- enough to not let them go.
Author unknown
TO ALL THE BLOGGERS ON BLOGVILLE, past, present and future, pmwah this is 30+ showing some love, REMEMBER HE WILL NOT LET YOU GO.
Shalom
Stress get levels but GOD dey tanda - Part 2
Day 0 - Monday morning 30th of July
First thing in the morning meeting with one of the contractors need to clarify all this report they are sending me left right and centre. I started my laptop to open file for this guy o, that is how my laptop said I should try again, thought it was a joke. I rebooted it started showing me the bible code 01hy000uhh709 etcetera etcetera. I hol my laptop laid hands on it and prayed a bit; still nofink, contractor in my front expecting the query now, nofink. I rebooted nofink. You remember I had reported NEPA taking the screen lights before what I did not mention was that on two occasions it died and showed me this same blue screen and all i did was rebooted but this morning nofink.
Long story long, I carry computer go PC world to repair) because I use my own personal laptop hence I am responsible for the repair). The techhie desk guy started it up and said yes your hard drive may have a problem (duh). He started asking my postcode and putting my data on their system then asks
Techie guy: You bought it here didn't you
30+: No I bought it at another branch
Techie guy: I can only book it in for repair next week but you may want to called Packard since "YOUR WARRANTY ONLY RAN OUT ON 23RD OF JULY"
30+: Opens mouth wide and mouth formed to say F*** but I retreated (and lead us not into temptation). 700 pds down the drain?!.
At that point I just wanted to cry why did this ramshackle thing not pack up last week so I could have got an exchange. I looked at the techie guy in front of me, why did the silly guy have to inform me of the warranty expiration date. See I was not even thinking of warranty when i went to the shop in fact i did not go because I bought my lap top at PC world so I would have been happy to be ignorant of the warranty business. I am sure i saw a monster with two horn laugh behind my back saying nah nah nah (but i dare not say that out loud they may say i have gone kolo).
I carried my comatose laptop back into the car, there was no point, leaving it they could not even book it in for repair till next week. I sat in the car park feeling frustrated.
God dey tanda - Rewind back to two months earlier (MAY 2007)
I had been concerned that all my work was on my laptop which also served as my DVD, music system infact it was on like 16 hours a day. Decided I need to do a big backup or buy another laptop dedicated to work. I bought a 4gb pen drive but as per me being concerned I was just procastinating. Then when I was ready to do the backup I could not find the pen drive again.
Fast forward 6 weeks later(2nd Week JULY 2007) : I was chatting to one of my colleagues and she started asking about backups and how do I do it. I replied I had not done any. She said her because her laptop had been playing up and I goes weird mine has been acting up as well. That day I turned the whole house upside down until I found the pen and did my back up pronto. Did another one a week later (i.e 22nd July).
Fast forward Day 0 minus 3 (Friday 27th of July) : After working for 9 hours non stop reading reviewing and writing report as I was about to leave work, I shut down the laptop and on impulse started it up again and sent my last work to my yahoo account. This was nearly two days work that i had been updating since Wednesday.
Call it providence, call it coincidence but I CALL IT GOD DEY TANDA watch my back. Peeps if i had not sent the stuff for my yahoo I for just carry my kaya dey go with no forwarding address of any sort.
MORALE OF MY PREDICAMENT
First thing in the morning meeting with one of the contractors need to clarify all this report they are sending me left right and centre. I started my laptop to open file for this guy o, that is how my laptop said I should try again, thought it was a joke. I rebooted it started showing me the bible code 01hy000uhh709 etcetera etcetera. I hol my laptop laid hands on it and prayed a bit; still nofink, contractor in my front expecting the query now, nofink. I rebooted nofink. You remember I had reported NEPA taking the screen lights before what I did not mention was that on two occasions it died and showed me this same blue screen and all i did was rebooted but this morning nofink.
Long story long, I carry computer go PC world to repair) because I use my own personal laptop hence I am responsible for the repair). The techhie desk guy started it up and said yes your hard drive may have a problem (duh). He started asking my postcode and putting my data on their system then asks
Techie guy: You bought it here didn't you
30+: No I bought it at another branch
Techie guy: I can only book it in for repair next week but you may want to called Packard since "YOUR WARRANTY ONLY RAN OUT ON 23RD OF JULY"
30+: Opens mouth wide and mouth formed to say F*** but I retreated (and lead us not into temptation). 700 pds down the drain?!.
At that point I just wanted to cry why did this ramshackle thing not pack up last week so I could have got an exchange. I looked at the techie guy in front of me, why did the silly guy have to inform me of the warranty expiration date. See I was not even thinking of warranty when i went to the shop in fact i did not go because I bought my lap top at PC world so I would have been happy to be ignorant of the warranty business. I am sure i saw a monster with two horn laugh behind my back saying nah nah nah (but i dare not say that out loud they may say i have gone kolo).
I carried my comatose laptop back into the car, there was no point, leaving it they could not even book it in for repair till next week. I sat in the car park feeling frustrated.
God dey tanda - Rewind back to two months earlier (MAY 2007)
I had been concerned that all my work was on my laptop which also served as my DVD, music system infact it was on like 16 hours a day. Decided I need to do a big backup or buy another laptop dedicated to work. I bought a 4gb pen drive but as per me being concerned I was just procastinating. Then when I was ready to do the backup I could not find the pen drive again.
Fast forward 6 weeks later(2nd Week JULY 2007) : I was chatting to one of my colleagues and she started asking about backups and how do I do it. I replied I had not done any. She said her because her laptop had been playing up and I goes weird mine has been acting up as well. That day I turned the whole house upside down until I found the pen and did my back up pronto. Did another one a week later (i.e 22nd July).
Fast forward Day 0 minus 3 (Friday 27th of July) : After working for 9 hours non stop reading reviewing and writing report as I was about to leave work, I shut down the laptop and on impulse started it up again and sent my last work to my yahoo account. This was nearly two days work that i had been updating since Wednesday.
Call it providence, call it coincidence but I CALL IT GOD DEY TANDA watch my back. Peeps if i had not sent the stuff for my yahoo I for just carry my kaya dey go with no forwarding address of any sort.
MORALE OF MY PREDICAMENT
- Always backup all your work including your outlook mails.
- Install anti virus on your system.
- If you get a mail from Hi5 saying someone nudged you or wants to add you as friend don't click the link, go to Hi5 directly and check (this is my prime suspect).
- Don't open any mail attachment unless you are sure of the source.
- GET A GOOD ANTI VIRUS installed (repeat thrice).
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