Nigeria ages and Customary courts

Hello Peeps,

Unto Baba God be the glory, great things he has done. Let me make a distinction sharpish because there different gods. The God that I am talking about and kiraing for is the El-Shaddai the one who declared his covenant name to be Jehovah, the one who sent his begotten son Jesus to die on the cross.

Ope o, that cleared another round of ikira for Him, Father you are too much.

Happy Birthday to you Nigeria, in the face of criticm, PHCN crisis, Niger Delta, economic hardship, being deserted by your children, you still remain sane, you have tried.
Yet I am concerned that you are as you are, o Nigeria. I wonder why there are no sorrow of birth pangs coming from you in hope to deliver the future you hope. I am concerned that status quo seems to remain and come to a harsh/bitter conclusion that change is not coming anytime soon.
Nevertheless you deserve the honour of these wishes, may the blood and sweat of heroes past speak for the future yet to come.

Just got off the phone from some dude that I came upon eon years ago. According to him my friend gave him my number donkey years ago and he called me on one or two occassion. He said he "used to Toast me" (his words), bbbuuuaaaah. Been a long time I heard anyone use that word around here.

The dude kept asking "What do you fiii about you and me?" (he pronounced feel as fiii). And another one "So when was your Betday?" (Betday = Birthday).
He has been thinking of me since all these years (more than 5yrs o), then hangs himself without any effort, well truth was he has been in a relationship with one Old woman who kind of must have used juju on him because blah blah......

His mission: since I am not married yet, dude is saying nothing is impossible, okay now...that means hell can freeze abi?

To better gist

I read the story below in some magazine and had to put it up, it brought memories of the few times I read iwe iroyin yoruba, my favourite section was the ones that had customary session proceedings. I just use to find the stories in the section hilarious

The eight-year-old marriage of a Lagos trader, Mrs. Ajetumobi Ajike almost collapsed because of endless GSM flashing by a man she claimed to be her colleague. The matter came to a head when the presumed colleague flashed and called her at midnight. The next morning, her enraged husband headed for a Grade ‘A’ Customary Court in Agege, Lagos and filed for divorce. When the matter continued to rage in court, the midnight caller appeared in person and pleaded with the woman’s hubby not to send her away. The court president, E.K.S Bruce later cautioned the man thus: “Your wife was childish. So, please pardon her. For the woman, you made a great mistake by keeping your husband in the dark about that colleague of yours. You allowed that flasher to ruin your marriage.” The story of GSM gaffes are legion. A top civil servant in Abuja once mistakenly sent to his real wife, a sex-explicit text intended for his mistress. But for the intervention of their children and family friends, the marriage would have hit the rocks.

Just imagine that these two grown ups would have had on their divorce certificate, reason for divorce: GSM Interruption? Or GSM flashing?.

Is this how derailed the insititution of marriage has become?

Till later


fantasy queen said...

lol'....thats to show nigerians have grown indeed. feeling like stars and going to court to 'divorce' for flashing.

fantasy queen said...

okay i had to put that comment up cos i was so excited or being first.

so maybe dude would give you an engagement ring as a betday present.

simeone said...

lol...2 gsm interuption..the wife and the office guy are both foolish...i'm thinking maybe they just got thier fones and it was trippin them...
God is indeed trying for naija..
on a personal note i will neva stop kiraing for Him o..

isha said...

i used to have hope in Nigerian marriages, but from what I hear these days, they're getting just as bad as in the Western world. What are we to do?

Allied said...
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Allied said...

Are u saying u can go out with a guy that has an accent? Is his English bad or he just has an accent? I have come across people who will say stuff like “I went to that ‘babaqueue” (barbeque) or “that girl is a very foolish somebody”. It is not like they can’t speak English, they just have an accent.

And there are those who say “Can you please off the light”? I can’t get over that one. Or “who you” instead of who is it?

And you see those ones that blow ‘phoney’ through their behind then say something like

‘Allied, can you smell that terrible odor’

“No” I say

“Turn your radio down and smell it”

Abeg, please tell me how the two senses are related? Perhaps, Dr Napps can you “Ejucate” me?

30+ said...

@Allied you are totally off your stomach is about to burst from laughing

"Turm your radio down and smell it"
Just when I tot I heard it all.

aloted said...

i am joining u to thank baba God o

lol..@gsm flasher..hehehehe God forbid bad thing

Shubby Doo said...
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Shubby Doo said...

omg this post has reminded me of someone you used to say 'i don't hear smell'

A'dele said...

May I put a word in for camp marriage that glasher colleague could not have been an ordinary colleague or why flash @ midnight. We all know the rules and he was breaking them big time!

As per your fili man ... lol!

30+ said...

@FQ, You deserve a prize babe. It is not funny o, what kind of ring is that :(

@Simeon, I am feeling you on that foolishness

@Isha, we are to be careful in keeping the institution sacred in our own way (don't ask me what that means)

@Aloted, Amen

@Shubby, 4 real?!

Naapali said...

well yoruba does say gbo orun, which literally translates as hear smells.

@ Allied
- As to turning the radio down to pick up a scent, may not be dissimilar to closing your eyes to hear a sound better. Sometimes tuning out distractions from one sense heightens another.

ShonaVixen said...

lmao...court for the midnite flasher??this court would be flocked were it here in i guess the sanctity of marriage is not what it used to be!

ShonaVixen said...

oooh 14th...yay!!!lol

Funms said...

betday???? lmao
ohmidays, the divorce story got me cracking up big time...... see what the marriage institution has become..... na wa o

bumight said...

lmao! seriously though I can tolerate neither, but if the person is trying to be more than a friend, that is where is say 'get thee behind me!"

the damages that GSM has done in naija, facebook is doing same if not worse all over the world!

DiAmOnD hawk said...

I believe that story was in the punch... girl... that paper carries the most... i dont even know how to classify them... I read this past sunday's edition... and I just dont know if these are really true stories... perhaps they are...

so... after 5 years... he wants to know how you feeeeeeee about him... is it easy like that? nonsense... he should come back when he finds the L

Jaycee said...

Missed ya!!!

LOLLLL @ the GSM flashing customary court stories. HI-larious! What kind of yeye reason is that for a divorce? Lol.

About Nigeria...I don't know WHEN change will come, but it sure will...

Jaycee said...

Lolll @ Allied, "Can you pls OFF the light?"

Oh well, love can still be found in the most surprising places...*giggles*

OluwaDee said...

"You allowed that flasher to ruin your marriage."


Bobo is toasting u.
He was once jazzed by a mama.
Bobo asked 4 ur befday.
Bobo said how do u fill bout u and him.

30+ How do u fill about this bobo???

pink gloves said...

lol @ GSM interruption. I mean seriously, some of these pple are so narrow minded it is mind boggling. How can you go file for a divorce bcos of flashing? I mean seriously.

As for all the mis-pronouncers, abeg i stay far far away from them. Diction is important, i cant take home a man who my mother will have problems understanding.

Anonymous said...

gsm phones should come with a new warning:
beware: excessive flashing could cause marital disruption!

30+ said...

@A'dele, fair enough he was breaking the rule but is the next thing divorce court?!

@Dr Naaps, thanks for enlightening us. Although I thinkg proper construcion should be "turn the music down to focus your senses and smell the odor"

@Shonavixen, they are just jobless people. A husband that wakes up to go to court like that has no office to attend, otherwise he would think twice.

@Funms, let me know when your betday is and how you fii about coming to Paris with me - lol

@Bumight, facebook is the other one that is grinding me.

@Diamondhawk, Lmao - I don't think that grown man will ever find the L so I am safe.

@Jaycee, what's up missy, missed you too. The flasing reason beats me honestly. I don't think the guy has love on his mind more like scrolling down his phone and dialling random nos.

@Oluwadee, I fii that he should seriously go and face his job - lol

@Pinkgloves, I understand someone mispronouncing Surreptitious or something of such but common words like Birthdays. It says a lot about where they are coming from.

@Geisha, the label will be just for the made in Nigeria ones sha

Ekoakete said...

Hehehe Na wa for your "toaster" O. As for the trouble with GSM, too numerous to mention... But what kind of collegue calls at midnight ehn??

archiwiz said...

For the prayers for Nigeria... Amen!

To d "bobo" and betday... LOL...pele...

Den, the marriage/gsm issue, why the woman would be answering non-emergency calls at midnight is suspect, but not enough for the husband to try and divorce her...

LOL...More like, a technological breakdown of the marriage, that would have been on the divorce certificate.

UndaCovaSista said...

Does you mean to say you is not fiiling your toaster?


princesa said...

lol@ur toaster.
One thing that puts me off men is 'bad english'. E can vex me ennh!

Those couple no serious.

Sherri said...

dude is fiing u nah, maybe he'll buy u sliver for ur betday! lol

how bodi?

The Invisible Man said...

Bia u never finish the gist o! Shebi bobo dey in love, abeg u for let am continue wif the toasting jare! lol Nice blog, first time here

KAM BABY said...

Na wah for that woman and her colleague. Didn't the colleague know she was married already? even if he didnt know, why didn't she tell him? Infact, i'm suspecting them.

Lol@ can u smell that terrible odour.

wat about "Can u hear that smell?"...and that is very common.

Hey 30+, nice blog. I'll come here more often.

Tolantino said...

Ohh.. i spent so long typong a response only for it to disappear like that!!

Anyhows... i will try again..

Tolantino says:

Na wah for Nigeria and all these GSM-in antics.. We are world renowned as the most persistent flashers in the world. I say Naija peeps can flash you into oblivion. Hats off!!

As for this Broda who wanna "toast" you.. I really LMAO.. He wanna know how you "Fill" about him.. That was sooo area-boy-like.. Hehehe..

Its good to be following you again..

Take care

Anonymous said...

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moses said...

Hello THIRTY+, I can't stop laughing about your lover boy. To me I think he is really wants you and maybe you can just give him a chance and see how love will make him to wash your clothes, go to the market and cook your food.

For the flashers, they should continue and never put a stop to itbut, "FLASHERS ARE LIABLE TO DIE YOUNG."