GLOBAL ECONOMICS DE-MYSTIFIED

Hello my peeps,

God is good, and that is an understatement, I praise his name


Picture this - Before the recession hit Egypt of old, God caused a Young Man full of His Spirit to be strategically placed that Egypt prospered in the time of credit crunch / recession.
Not only that the young man was able to Preserve his very own chosen people Israel .

Got this in my inbox and thought it may be a comic relief for someone

Global Economic demystified


SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the Other and throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the
Cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for Lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You eat both.

A ZAMBIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You call in investors to look after them for you and wonder why they are not sharing the milk with you.

A NIGERIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You hire relatives for peanuts to look after one whilst you feast on the other without sharing. When your other cow dies from exhaustion, you blame your relatives for ruining your business.

Talking of economy, I need a new job o, I have been trying to think of what business I can go into, apart from my increasing passion for photography which I will keep educating myself on.

This is a good time for me to diversify and think of what I can do for myself but can't just seem to get my thinking juices to flow.

So people any ideas!!!

P.S
I have not been replying to comments lately, no vex, it's not snobbery just sheer laziness and finding words in my head to respond to each person.


Images - Courtesy of google images (c)

31 comments:

DiAmOnD hawk said...

LOL... funny...
esp the American one... so true!

everyone is looking to diversify these days... it's necessary... what do you absolutely love to do? apart from photography.... plan stuff? cook? read?....

aloted said...

hehehehe...tooo funny!

Me too i also want to diversify ooo. I feel stuck..:(

I need inspiration from above!

UndaCovaSista said...

Enh hen, and there i was feeling snobbed!

Funny list.

I know it sounds like a cliche (in fact it is a cliche), but a good place to start with regards to diversifying would be top ask yourself what you would do willingly even if you werent being paid. Once you've settled on what that is, then begin to think about how you can make money out of it

UndaCovaSista said...

...sorry, i meant to add - it worked for me

naijalines said...

Good advice from UCS, I think. Can't really think of anything more to add. Interesting 'political' analysis. 'Naija one - priceless:-)

naijalines said...

and the British too, lol
The Italian...could that be Spanish too?

darkelcee said...

lol. naija corp is very correct. kai naija peeps.

look for where u will get fufilment and pray to God about it. (b4 u make the move of course)

Nice weekend

~Mimi~ said...

:) lol! now i understand what global economy is!! thanks for that :)

'Yar Mama said...

So-o-o funny. Thanx for the tutorial, Economics 101

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

too funny

how body?

geisha.song. said...

oh gosh - COWKIMON!!
and the russian one - 2 funny! (geddit?)

good naija girl said...

Now that was hilarious!

I didn't know you were interested in photography! Do you have a place like shutterchance where you post your pictures?

Doja said...

I need socialist friends.

Shubby Doo said...

reading this made me smile so much...thanks 4 that.

*hugs*

simeone said...

wow..enjoyed this..so every system has a short-comin..its just that some shortcomins are more annoying than some other ones...

ShonaVixen said...

lol...
being zimbabwean i'd say you either dont have those two cows or the price for those cows is in the billions or is it trillions!!...such a sad situation!!

Debbie said...

I like the cow analysis, really eye opening and funny
Re the job, just pray for God to show you what to do and he will and with your passion for photograpy just keep improving your skills and who knows it will take you where you never dreamth of.

Buttercup said...

LMAO! I just wonder how people come up with such..

Eeya all the best with the job hunt/startin of business..um..what other passion(s) do u have? U cud develop somn from there..good luck!

Mommy said...

*coughs* *clears throat*...:0)

Nonesuch said...

about diveristy... i would ask what is your hedgehog concept? simply means what are you deeply passionate about?, what can you be the best at? and finally what will drive your encominc engine ( what will get you there?)

i just finished reading Jim Collins Good to Great. Its about coporations but then people make up coporations. All the best with finding your hedgehog concept.

R4Biz said...

I enjoyed reading your blog. Blessings to you.

** You should be on my page on facebook.

Kpakpando said...

Instead of me to sleep I'm here reading bovine economics. Tchhiiiew I'm not a serious person.

Writefreak said...

I love the way you start your posts acknowledging God!
As per the business, is there any other thing you're passionate about that you can turn into a business?

Nyemoni said...

Hahahahaha! very funy...........how are you my sister? I'm sure all's well....just thot to say hello!
Nice funny post!

simeone said...

someone has accused you on my blog o..

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

this is still very funny.

Don't forget to join us in the online rally this Friday October 31st. Just use "FREE JONATHAN ELENDU NOW!" as the title of your blog post and FaceBook Status. Visit the Facebook page here or stop by Nigerian Curiosity.

Take care my sista!

Queen of My Castle said...

Ha! I can relate to your laziness in regards to commenting. Same here.

OMG! That email was sooo on point. Only in America do we hire analysts and consultants for EVERY thing! LOL

30+ said...

Okayyyeeee oooo !!!!!!!!!, there is a reason why it's easier to comment as and when they are dropped - lol

From the so called cliche advice to hedgehog to trillion dollar cows to the campaign, to being accused on someone's blog and all that enjoyed or learnt something from the write up.

Sorry I can't respond to everyone o but thanks a bunch for all the advices ... mwah i.e. I dey throw kiss anyhow catch if you can :)

God bless y'all real good.

Parakeet said...

This is real good...hahaha! Very on point albeit in a funny way.

I'm also looking for somthing to do o

bllk wolf said...

i kept my fingers crossed for the Nigerian one.
anyways about the job thing
i haven't got the best of "ideas"
but from where i stand having a passion for what u do will be beneficial to u and the business
but in reality, we still need to put food on the table.
prayerfully decide and don't PROCASTINATE!!
missed ya and thanks for being there

Allied said...

lol..this is very funny! thanks 30+ u made me smile