NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR WOMEN

Hi Peeps,

There is no end to the wisdom of God who chose to create them male and female, male and female he created them and blessed them commanding us to be fruitful...Thank you father for indeed I am and will even be more fruitful.

Now for the Women, All the ladies in the house say "Hu, Hu": Prompted by Princessa's comment after earlier post on class for men, I have up with course details for Women's Evening Classes. It's a summary of hints and feedback picked up over the years as to what type of classes men may want women to attend.

DAY 1
Must he really buy you flowers? Panel of debate on alternative options a) Getting a gardener plant flowers in your front garden to hearts content b) Getting a florist deliver flowers to you with your husband’s name and credit card 365 days a year or until you are tired of flowers e.t.c

Is sex really a weapon or legal, spiritual and moral right? (for married only) - Testimonies from frustrated men and several ladies (i.e the strangers) who don't mind married men just to get 'some'.

Picking up after him how difficult is it versus getting wrinkles from concocted face? Seminar Talk: How a little bending and picking can be more advantageous than the paid gym membership you never attend.

Do men really think of Sex a lot? A video interview with Professor Jintagry. Snippet from the interview: "Yes we do", "It is another sport for us", "It helps stress" e.t.c.

Is it possible to keep quiet when he says dumb stuff especially in the public? Classroom lecture How to drown out individual sound. Amazing long lasting gobshutting chewing gum and invisble ear plugs to be distributed as part of practical. Practicals will be offsite in following locations Lagos (Oshodi), London (Peckahm), New York (China Town).

Why do men like food so much? Picture slide show of different women’s facial expression as they tuck into a well cooked and well presented meal. Delegates will come out of class with evidence that the love of food is not limited to men.

He watches football all the time - Open field experiment: Delegates are advised to wear shorts and jersey as we will endeavour to chase the stupid rubber called football around the field to understand the enjoyment.


He will rather get lost than ask for direction - Living with it: 7 things you can do rather when he gets lost e.g. Snooze, Enjoy the Scenery, Gist about mundane things, doing a quickie: it spices up the marriage e.t.c (a 10 page booklet read, paperback, author 30+).

DAY 2

Are women more Intelligent than men? Classrooom Debate on poverty, environmental pollution, oppression, Aids, Depression, Diabetes, Cot Death, world peace and it's mpact on our planet. Each student will be advised to come up with their own answer of Men vs Women Intelligence question in light of the classroom debate.

What is the purpose of God creating Men in the first place? Student will be required to bring either their father/sperm donor, son, brother, uncle to class for direct questioning. Stand in Models also available Gani, Nelson M, Tuface (please pray he does not get attacked before the day). Efforts will also be made to contact Baba God online to defend this creation.

Why does he think he knows everything? - Objective Q and A paper. Sample questions include Does his thinking add 1 cubit to your height? Does it remove 1 cubit from your height? Are you a certified mind reader?

Can I submit to Him without loosing my respect / status? - Online Teaching including Practical demonstration of a dwarf prostrating and getting up without lice on it’s head. Corporate heads (women) who submit to their man and still hold their position come to share their thoughts. Delegates will be asked to spot the difference to prove it does not cause any physical deformity.

He has refused to Change? 1-2-1 Counselling He may never change, counsellors available including ministers, Meditation, you are strongly adviced to pre read the book "Theory of evolution - A pure fallacy" before attending this class.

Constant Persuasion a.k.a nagging/small quarrel, is it really sexy? Tutorial: Evidence base and Feedbacks. Evidence from historians account in the Good Book (Jud 16:16 - Delilah, Click for Even More Evidence), Feedback from Men / Husbands / Sons / Brothers / Fiances. Note: The I will not nag - Self Affirmation Tapes will be distributed after class.

Differences between Your Husband and your son? Slide presentation on how mothering him cause comparison to His mother.

He replied that my bum is big? How to desist from asking the question in the first place. Learning to carry what you weigh with grace, packaging your thang neatly, clothes that create slimline illusion. How to allow Bingo to help with the kids left overs.

He does not tell me he loves me? Men and Women differences in verbal expression explored. How to remind yourself that your Man is not Shade or Dunni or Kemi who you exchange I love you with at every pause of your convo.

He does not understand me - Role Play, "saying what you mean and meaning what you say".

He says I talk too much? No class needed for this, you proabably do.

Feel free to suggest other courses that should be added!

Holla back

Shalom

56 comments:

Favoured Girl said...

LOL LOL! I can't help laughing at the classes and topics! Dare I say I will not attend any of them, because that's part of what makes life interesting......

Rinsola said...

Favoured Girl is laughing, well , i can't help but smile. WEll, o to ojo meta, how've you been and how'r u doing? (same question).

darkelcee said...

Marking register first.

Coming back to read ok

darkelcee said...

30+ why now? do we have to take those courses? some of the topics did hit a nerve.

Kai ?

how many days or weeks is the course duration? cos i am kinda busy last thing, u are giving this guys a trip of their life time.Gosh!lawllllllllll

Anu boy said...

correct............

wetin de?

30+ said...

@Favoured girl, what if I give you 50% discount on the class.

@Rinsola, I am great doing better than yesterday. Where is my update now.

@Darkelcee, lol y'all were tripping when it was the Men's. As assistant head of faculty you get 60% dicount.

@Anu, so I am on the right path ko. Baba God de, rain de me myself I de

Nyemoni said...

omg...30+ you had to go and burst my bubble! Now I'd have to print and send this to my boss as I did the one for the male classes...DANG! But tew funny girl...LOL!

Believer said...

Loved this post as usual, please can I register anonymously??Have a wonderful week full of the Lord's favour

mypenmypaper said...

would this be an online class. Can guys attend. I mean, serious.

Truth said...

You have hit the nail on the head for the women folk. Thanks, it should be a must course to be attended by new comers into relationship and the old ones.Thanks for bringing all these points out for use to ponder upon.

Allied said...

how come women need to learn more than men?

this is ojoro jare..

Sasuke said...

nice innovation aint a chic but it would surely help our sistas out there.

nice post

30+ said...

@Nyemoni, Yes o as you are enrolling you should bring your boss along too.

@Believer, your identity will be be protected.

@mypenmypaper, ahem ahem it will be a mixed approach types of class. Yes *cough* they can attend.

@Truth, ponder and enrol for the course you require

@Allied, lol, which one is ojoro, the course content was put in place with the requirement for women in mind *wink*

30+ said...

@Sasuke, thanks bro you were leaving your comment as I was replying :)

Jaycee said...

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL....

ha ha...no class for girls who talk to much, eh? I have to pass the final exams since I'm registered for this class! Lemme get to studying.

I need to buy some ear plugs for our practical at Oshodi...

Jinta said...

how abt a class to help women identify the round thing 22 men kick about in an open field is not rubber but made of leather? and that when a man is watching the game, they would be appreciate it if they were served a cold beer? with love? lol

Jinta said...

abeg, just ignore my grammar above

Naija Chickito said...

Hilarious stuff we got here!

Jaybabe said...

LOLLLLLLL...Oh my God! 30+ are you sure you want us to attend them classes? I dont believe this! Very funny indeed!

How you dey?

Isi said...

hmm nice stuff for women....i laughed, but i learnt alot...

how u dey my sister?!

30+ said...

@Jaycee, now here is a model student who will definitely excel in her class, you will be made class prefect.

@Jinta, you are pushing it now, no beer serving classes that one is extra mural. Leather / Rubber same difference...maybe you will come and teach the class sef, I am sure blogville women will be happy to have you as the coach.

@Naija chickito, not just hilarious but serious

@Jaybabe, do you see me laughing better come and register quick - lol

@Isi - I am good gurl how are you keeping

princesa said...

*clapping*
Wow! 30+, you overdid urself this time babes!
Thanks for this. The courses are simply hilarious and interesting.

Uzezi said...

not my first time here, but first time ur blog finally allowed me to leave a comment.
what a course!

chichi said...

really funny-and tho i hate 2 admit it oh! so true-between me and u 'where do i sign up?' LOL.

thnx 4 dropin by my blog.

Naijachic said...

OMG, you are such a laugh chic!!! lol @ trying to contact baba God online to defend his creation- still reeling...abeg how mush is teh course oh and when will online facilities begin? really great post! keep it up...

Pink-satin said...

LMAO

Afrobabe said...

What do u mean by making the sex question for married ppl alone...I will answer biko...

yes ...sex is a weapon for when he doesn't do the right thing...Am I supposed to happily open up when he didnt do the right thing?????????/

Afrobabe said...

its not only a weapon, its also a reward plus a present...:)

Aphrodite said...

Nice post and nice blog too.
If you can, i'll appreciate if u drop by mine.

30+ said...

@Princessa, Thank you ma sis

@Uzezi, thanks and welcome to the comment side of my blog.

@Chichi, since you have shown interest in comments box like this we don register you be that.

@Naijachic, correct babe we will keep you informed of the details.

@Pink Satin, how far

@Afrobabe, abeg cool down now, see the way I hid under my desk when I first saw comment. Well as the Dean and School proprietor we are keeping the sex for married only...And it should not be used as a weapon o because like I said there are strange women ready to pounce and open up anytime. (Let me go back into hiding.

@Aphrodite, sure will drop by.

darkelcee said...

Mother 30+
I came here for a confession.I am using your blog for new post on blogville.

i dont know how you did the Blogville gist url but its the bum
I hope i am forgiven?

And please dont take it off ok?

Nyemoni said...

It's sooooooooo Nyemoni not to update! Update now, 30+? How are you btw?

UndaCovaSista said...

'Hu hu'...lol
Also, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but bllk wolf is vexed with you o...at least that's what he said on my blog...Hmmn, What did you do?

30+ said...

@Darkelcee, you wan rank xerox, go on you are free

@Nye, I update only on Sunday and you want another one on Thursday, ah you are so missing me muah

@Undacova, shuo what did I do to Wolfie naw, coming over...

ababoypart2 said...

30+, my first time here. Wow, loved the post. Need to read it again though...Nice one

Nyemoni said...

Yes o! I agree...I am missing you tew much! MWAH!

pink gloves said...

lol too funny.

aworan said...

Funny post, this one.. Although, if I started my rant on this, i might write an epistle. So, to summerise it all up in one: "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.." :-) (And that goes for men and women.. )

Anu boy said...

you no go update again ni?

30+ said...

@Ababoypart2, you are welcome here.

@Nye, see me blushing for love o go update soon

@Pinkgloves, thanks

@Aworan, ok I know where you are coming from but remember this is generalisation so you can't defend the rest of the specie as per the 'thinking' part they "generally" do regenerated spirit or not.

@Anuboy, see harrasing you wan make I just dey dish gist anyhow, update coming soon.

Aijay said...

LMAO!!! Babes u're too much!
I couldn't stop laughing...

aworan said...

touche.. :-)

Anonymous said...

@bimbylads-In answer to your question about my comment on your last post desperate lady is unknown blogger and confused child. She first entered blogville as confused child then opened another blog as unknown blogger and now as desperate lady. She is your facebook friend as chinwe child so you know her. She said she had two abortions as unknown blogger and is saying she is a "virgin" as desperate lady. Oops sorry she said she just lost her virginity few weeks ago to a twenty one year old man. So in conclusion she is a confused unknown desperado. lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Anonymous said...

desperate lady said...
Lol @ d questions, now I don't knw what to ask....hmm lets see
"What kind of a person do you think I am?"

February 24, 2008 3:47 PM

36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS said...@desperate lady
i think u r nice but theres something about u i just put a finger on, im not sure u r who/what u say u are.February 24, 2008 6:49 PM

Olamild said...

Sign me up for the seminar

Obinwanne said...

funny...very funny....long time hey...been out for a while...but im back fully...so feel free to check me anytime anyday ....hope you enjoying ur weekend....

Ms. Catwalq said...

our own is long o and how come the sex one is for married women only?
omo u gats ta get with the programme....

Atutupoyoyo said...

The one for men was spot on. This one further hits the mark.

Nyemoni said...

Another Sunday gone by, yet no update! SOB! SOB!

Vera Ezimora said...

LOL. I'm writing an article that is similar to this. I love this! Very funny. LOL.

This is my first time here....so do I get a gift or something?? *smile*

exschoolnerd said...

this was hilarious!!!

30+ said...

@Aijay, stop laughing and register gurl.

@Aworan, :)

@Anon carry your krawn krawn from this blog

@Olamild, no probs you are registerd

@Obiwanne, glad to see you back in blogville.

@Miss Catwalq oya line up behind Afrobabe one time

@Atutu, thanks

@Nyemoni your post is coming latest tomorrow pm work is hectic.

@Vera, you are welcome you get 3 gbosas as present

@ExSchoolNerd, thanks babes how you dey

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

hahahaha! no, I can't stop laughing! thanks for sharing this!

lol!

Please update oh!


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SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

oooh, I was 53 and 54th.

I want a prize!


NIGERIAN CURIOSITY
IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN I ONLY HAD ONE...

Florida of Free Spirit said...

he need not tell me i talk too much

i get d message wen he switches off on me mid-story

or maybe daz d 19th story i was inter-relating

i really don't blame him sha

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